Posts Tagged ‘special needs teen’
Watching the World Through Autism’s Eyes
Hi. My name is Carrie. I am married to a man named Joe, and we have five kids. Our second child, Jack, is diagnosed with autism. He is almost seventeen years old. We spend a lot of time working on open-ended questions with Jack: who, what, where, when, and why. Who is your favorite teacher? What would you like for dinner? Where did you put your glasses? When do you want to leave for the store? Why do you think Billie Eilish is the greatest singer of all time? See, you can’t answer these kinds of questions with…
Read MoreThe Brightest Sky
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids. My second son, Jack, is diagnosed with autism. I used to think the hardest part of autism was the day we got the actual diagnosis—the day I walked into the cold rain of a November afternoon, and attempted to zip my squirming toddler’s jacket. I was wrong. I’m wrong a lot, if we’re being honest here. The hardest part is now. Sure, a lot of it was hard—the nights when he didn’t sleep, the long days chasing him around and making sure he…
Read MoreTelling the Story of a Boy with Autism
When I walked into the store, you were standing in the produce section near the fruit. The first thing I noticed about you was your jacket. I love that color blue, and it looked nice with your dark hair. I walked past you, and I almost tripped over an empty basket someone had left in the middle of the aisle. I glanced over my shoulder and I smiled. I rolled my eyes a little. “Who would leave their basket like this?” You looked up from your bag of apples, and…
Read MoreAutism’s Fingerprints
My name is Carrie, and I have five kids. My second son has autism. His name is Jack. He is sixteen. Autism impacts the way he eats, sleeps, learns, and moves. Let me tell you what else autism does. It takes a perfectly ordinary activity, and smudges it with its greasy fingerprints. It turns up the volume, and makes everything so bright and glaring, you have to squint to see any of the goodness that might be left. There is no manual for this—for figuring out how to clear through…
Read MoreAutism is Not Always to Blame
From as far back as I can remember, Skyler has always expressed himself by using his hands. The most common of his ‘gestures’ is open hand smacking of walls, cupboards, doors, counters, people, etc. Basically, if he could reach it, he would hit it. Hair pulling was his second favorite method of contact. Oddly enough, it often wasn’t done to gain the attention of the person on the receiving end of his torture, but simply because he liked the texture of the strands of hair between his fingers. What began…
Read MoreBittersweet Birthdays
My son’s birthday is this week and I am planning a party for him. He will be 14 years old and we are having a Sesame Street themed party with an Oscar the Grouch cake. The party guest will be me, his dad, his younger sister, and his grandmother. That is his limit. More than four very familiar people will overwhelm him. This is what birthdays with severe autism and developmental delay look like for us. When my son was born, I had several friends who had baby boys around the…
Read MoreWhere are the Trophies for Kids Like Him?
The first time I explained my son Jack had autism, we were at the Bronx Zoo. He was about eighteen months old. I was pregnant. The zoo was crowded. And he took every opportunity to run away from me. When he wasn’t running into throngs of people with their own little kids, he was trying to grab half-eaten pretzels from the garbage cans, or snatch napkins off the hotdog carts. He was terrified of the animals—all of them, the doe-eyed deer in their green valleys, the multicolored birds peering down…
Read MoreWhy Can’t You Be Normal?
Why can’t you be more, well, normal? Have fun for a change! Blow bubbles in the summer breeze and chase waves in the ocean and jump into big piles of autumn leaves. Make friends. Go to birthday parties and sleepovers and on camping trips. What if I can’t, he asked. Try harder, they answered. Try bigger. Try with everything you have. I am trying. I am all the time trying. Be a normal kid. Say hello when someone talks to you. Shake hands. Hug people good-bye. What if hugging makes…
Read MoreThe Extraordinary Goodness All Around Us
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son has autism. His name is Jack. Jack is sixteen years old now. Theoretically, he is a junior in high school. Theoretically, he can drive a car. Theoretically, he should be studying for the SAT’s and maybe looking at colleges and trying to decide what the next chapter of his life may hold. There is nothing theoretical about autism though. That’s the thing. Autism is a concrete set of symptoms that, like a set of parentheses around a…
Read MoreMay You Always Know How Much You’ll be Missed
Nearly every day we get a letter, or an email. Some have good news, some carry rejection. Like a version of the infamous Dr. Seuss poem, the messages and envelopes tell a modern-day story of the places you might go. New York, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Massachusetts. Some schools are in small towns, other sprawl amongst tall buildings and busy sidewalks. Some have large, rambling campuses with extravagant dining halls. Others boast state-of-the art technology, or winning sports teams. All of them are far from home. He sees the return addresses, when…
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