Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
The End of ‘Wait and See’
“A diagnosis is not a prognosis,” a wise doctor once said to me, as I was deep in a panic about what Flynn’s life would be like. Over time, it became my mantra and it comforted me as we were transferred from specialist to specialist. “A diagnosis is not a prognosis,” I would repeat to myself often. After countless appointments and tests, I grew comfortable with the labels being thrown onto the table and gained medical knowledge, preparing myself for the day that we got the answers we were looking…
Read MoreWhat is a Brother?
Brothers. Two years apart. Almost to the day. One loves Legos and Mindcraft and hockey. The other one loves being tickled, old train magazines, and game shows. One never stops talking and asks endless questions that sometimes make me laugh and other times drive me up a wall. The other one is more choosy about what he communicates. He makes us work for it. But when he does, mostly it’s mom, snack, home and yes and no. And cookie. And most recently Starbucks. I thought they would be best friends.…
Read MoreDear Autism, Happy 3rd Birthday
Dear Autism, Happy third birthday. While it may have taken you 9-12 months to come around, when you finally reared your head, you made your point. You have brought us so much joy, and so much pain over these last three years. We cried when the doctor sat us in the chair in her office and said, “It’s autism.” Your dad and I held hands, separated by a small table housing a box of much needed tissues, and we stared not at each other, but directly at the doctor as…
Read MoreWhat I Don’t Say
Autism is complex with many different angles and moving parts…as are those on the spectrum. All uniquely beautiful in their own way. My husband and I had a tough conversation today about all the parts we do not tell our friends and family…..the hard stuff. It is not my story to tell. It is his. My son’s. Sometimes I do have to share. To his teachers, to family and sometimes to friends. I never want to share that stuff. The raging meltdowns. Sometimes over something as small as a toy…
Read MoreFinding Your Way Back to God After a Diagnosis
I just came from church. I went alone today. I could have brought my two younger children but honestly, I needed 60 minutes to myself to sit and think. I chuckle at what I consider to be a ‘relaxing break’ now. Anyhow I don’t often talk about church on this page. Because like politics and vaccinating and puzzle pieces and the color blue, it can anger people. And that isn’t what my mission is about. I refuse to argue about autism. Not anymore. I’m too busy making sure my son…
Read MoreThe Spiral Staircase
Questions filled my mind and I was unable to hear what the doctor was saying. I was sitting in her office listening to all she had to say about my three boys. The journey started what seemed like ages ago. I had been fighting to get to this very moment, but I wasn’t expecting this. It all started in 2017 with our youngest son Sawyer. We finally got a Pediatrician to listen to us and hear our concerns. We had no idea where the first referral would lead us. The…
Read MoreWhen People See Our Autism
Yesterday, I had the rare opportunity to watch my son interact with the world outside of our home and therapy. But even more interestingly, I was able to watch the world react to him. Typically, people, strangers, onlookers, observe him with curiosity. Often with kindness. And caution. Sometimes with a little judgement. And even a little fear. That last one kills me. One of the hardest things to process, understand and feel as a mom is seeing people be afraid of my child. The little boy who cries when someone…
Read MoreLife Has a Way of Changing
You want to know what’s amazing about life? And my kid? And hard work? And goals? And hope? This. This right here. A simple trip to the grocery store. Something that most families take for granted. Something that we are always working on. Calm body. Walking. Being safe. Waiting. Communicating. But more importantly, being out in the community. A year ago I would have never dreamed that I would have met him and his therapist at the grocery store. That goal wasn’t even an option. Or that he would wait…
Read MoreAt Least He Doesn’t…
“At least he doesn’t…” When you “at least” me as a complex parent. I feel minimized. I feel shut up. I feel shut down. I feel unheard. I feel compared. I feel invalidated. I don’t let very many people into our lives, at least not in person. Mostly because I’m spent. I’ve been spent for a darn long time. And one of the reasons I’m spent is because of things like “at least”. I know people mean well, I give them the benefit of the doubt. And I also realize…
Read MoreHope, Grief, and Grace
My son Jack was diagnosed with autism when he was eighteen months old. It was a cold, gray afternoon in November. He was wearing a blue jacket. He’s fifteen now. A lot has happened since that day in November. I had three more kids and Jack learned to talk and then he learned how to pick the locks and run out the front door. I chased him like my life depended on it, because it did. Finally, we taught him how to hold our hand in the parking lot and…
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