Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
The Importance of Grace as a Special Needs Parent
I talk a lot about grace on this page. A word that honestly didn’t mean all that much to me before this journey. But now, well, grace is everything. Because as parents, we can be way too hard on ourselves. When I speak to parents of newly diagnosed kids, and parents of kids diagnosed long before autism was a common word, they all tell me similar stories. Every single parent. They tell me about the things they didn’t know. They didn’t know that their child was in pain. Or they…
Read MoreThe New Normal
I’ve always hated phrases like, “the new normal,” or “it is what it is.” In my eyes these expressions are just the lazy person’s way of not trying hard enough to make a difficult situation better. We’ll just call it, “the new normal” and move on. I can’t make it better so, “it is what it is.” I’m getting older but it’s cool because, “50 is the new 40.” You get the idea. When my youngest of four children was diagnosed with autism eight years ago, it felt like anything…
Read MoreAcceptance
Yesterday my husband asked me, “have you really accepted the fact that Hank has Autism?” It’s one of those conversations we always find a way to circle back to. Between talking about services, school, behavioral interventions, potty training, aggressions, speech, etc, etc, we always come back to this. “Acceptance” There’s a pause. A comma perhaps,Most likely a big fat question mark? Usually when we ask it to each other, we are really in a sense asking it to ourselves. We are seeking reassurance and validation for our feelings. What we are…
Read MoreThe Rewards of Parenting
Yesterday my father in law reached out over text message to see how we were doing. It has been an unusually busy and chaotic time for our family and he was just checking in. I told him we were doing Ok, hanging in there at least. He responded with empathy stating he remembers how hard it is parenting three small children and having zero energy left at the end of the day to do anything for yourself. He went on to say “You sort of put your life on hold,…
Read MoreAutism Saved My Son’s Life
I first met my son when he was 11. It was in a group session I had been invited to as a teacher because I would be getting the kids the following year. It was a chance to meet everyone and for the group to get to know me. I was immediately drawn to one student because he certainly had a lot to say! I quickly learned that he was in foster care and that he had a twin brother who was also in group with us. One talked, one…
Read MoreThe Skills We Have
When you were about six, we had a party at our house. By this point, you talked pretty well. You were still behind other kids your age, but you could get your point across for the most part and ask for juice and tell us which DVD you wanted to watch. Jack-a-boo, language has always been hard for you. You didn’t say a word until you were well past three. Sentences were slow to come. Even now, as a teenager, you hesitate for a few beats when someone asks you…
Read MoreLetting Go of the Things Beyond our Control
We all know mothers can be portrayed as being a bit dramatic. I am not saying I agree with that, but I do think moms, particularly new moms, put an enormous amount of pressure on themselves to raise perfect children. Something that is completely unattainable, especially when you are a new mom trying to figure out why your child is so different than all your friends’ kids. This was me 4 years ago, and I, of course, tried to come up with a way to “solve” these differences. What is…
Read MoreIt’s About Quality of Life
I looked around while standing in the security line at the O’Hare International airport. Time to go home. I was only here for 24 hours. Not even really. I attended an amazing event for an amazing cause and slept through the night. I call that a successful trip. My hands were full, as they usually are. I was juggling my 2 bags, ID, cell phone and cup of coffee. I always get nervous in the security line. Like I’m breaking some law I didn’t know about. I picture myself getting…
Read MoreWe Don’t Blend In
We don’t blend in, this kid and me. Not that we ever did, but I’ll admit when he was smaller it was easier. We got by with the graces people bestow on toddlers and energetic kindergarteners. But 9. Well, 9 is a whole different story. Nine is four feet, four inches tall. Nine is feet almost as big as mine. Nine is big and loud and noticeable. I used to care a lot when people stared at my son. At us. I would start to sweat and my face would…
Read MoreFor Those Who Came Before Us, Thank You
If you have the honor of meeting a parent of an adult child with a disability, I want you to say thank you. I want you to shake their hand. Because these people, these parents, paved the way for parents like you and me. And for our children. They probably won’t brag though. They also won’t argue with you online about trivial things either. Because they’ve seen it all…and they know what’s worth fighting over. These are the parents who upon finding out that their baby was differently abled, were…
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