Posts Tagged ‘special needs family’
A Great Grandfather and Autism
It’s been almost ten months since Pop went home to heaven. He was 82 years young and it still is a big transition and heartbreak for our family. He was hilarious, full of faith, and a lifelong learner. Our eldest son Emmett was diagnosed with autism at three and a half years old, long before this I was reading books and studying everything I could in early intervention because my heart knew it would be a benefit for him. Alongside me, through it all, was Pop, reading everything I read,…
Read MoreMy Son, You Are Kind
‘Thanks for coming to my conferences mama.’ Of course buddy. ‘Did you like my owl? They are nocturnal. There is a girl I like. I’m going to ask her on a date on the last day of school. Then if she says no I won’t have to see her for the whole summer.’ That’s seriously genius. But you are too young to date. ‘I’m not doing for very good in reading. I’m trying. I need to stretch the words more. But it’s hard for me.’ You are doing just fine…
Read MoreThank you for Being the Friend I Needed
Our husbands (then boyfriends) had known each other for quite a while before we met. It was only a matter of time before we crossed paths. We all ended up carpooling to a wedding together, and after that weekend the rest was history. Our then boyfriends became fiancés. We both got married roughly two months apart, and later that year we both found out we were expecting. What a whirlwind. I should have known the stars had aligned when I met you. We spent the next nine months going to…
Read MoreA Baby After Autism
As I was looking at our recent family photos, I started thinking about all the joy this baby has brought to our family. And how I can’t really remember a time before him. In a way, he healed us. He healed the wounds that weren’t necessarily visible on the surface. He’s the brother Sawyer dreamed of. Sawyer spends so much time kissing him. Holding him. And talking to him. He’s told me, ‘I’m not lonely anymore mama.’ And then there is Cooper. The one I was the most nervous about.…
Read MoreWe Have Perfected Splitting Up
We were standing in a group of friends. Sawyer and I. Waiting in line with five other families. Dozens of kids. I watched him subconsciously glance around. Taking it all in. I wonder if he ever realizes that most of these kids, his friends, are his brother’s age. 8. They are talking about scary movies, Pokémon cards and mini doughnuts. As kids do. Part of me thinks he doesn’t even realize Cooper’s age. Probably because his favorites are Barney and First Word Books. I get it. He tugged on my…
Read MoreThe Baby Who Put Us Back Together
Our family had the best day celebrating Harbor’s first birthday. As I watched him devour his cake I thought back to a year ago. I was so scared. So nervous. A baby. A third boy. How would we ever have enough time and energy for another one. And what if. Oh, the what if’s. The elephant in the room always autism. What if Cooper was aggressive? What if he got worse? What if he couldn’t handle the crying? We actually had contingency plans. Scenarios. Plans. We’d have to put a…
Read MoreWhat if you have a Child with Special Needs?
We were married in the Lutheran faith and had to give up our precious weekend to attend a weekend of pre-marital counseling sessions. It was long and seemed completely unnecessary because we were madly in love. The class was centered on ‘deep’ questions that prompted discussion between couples. How would you handle a partner with an addiction? Or a partner that lies? A partner who gambles? We obviously didn’t have those problems since we were best friends so we breezed through. Oh the arrogance of twenty-something kids. Jamie and I…
Read MoreTell Them He’s Autistic Mama
We were swimming in the pool at the hotel. It was our fourth time in two days. My boys love water. It’s the one and only activity that the two oldest will actually do together. It’s also an activity that we can all enjoy. We would spend all of our time in the pool if we could. Sawyer is always drawn to other kids. He’s been that way his whole life. If he sees a little kid enter the water, he will be with him or her. Cooper, he’s oblivious.…
Read MoreLong Term Survival Mode and the People who Live it
Recently I found myself in that that spring cleaning mode—the place where I wanted to purge, and organize, and simplify all the things. But as I took a step back to take inventory of our lives I was quickly overwhelmed by what I found. There were so many things that had been left un-done for so long. As I thought about why, the reality of our life came flooding in around me. It all comes down to survival mode. When you come home from the hospital with a newborn in…
Read MoreAge is Just a Number in Our World
You were sitting on the floor. Near me. You like to be close. But not too close. Just close enough to see me. And know I’m near. I thought before the baby was born that you might struggle with sharing me. I was wrong thankfully. You seem to have no problem with me caring for the baby. As long as I’m close. As long as I’m home. On this beautiful, lazy evening, while you sat sprawled out next to me watching Daniel Tiger, I was playing with your baby brother.…
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