Posts Tagged ‘special needs dad’
My Husband, We are Perfectly Imperfect
My Husband. I love him with all my heart. Every fiber of my being. I have loved him since I was 16 years old. I don’t really know anything else. And to be honest, sometimes I don’t even like him. We don’t see eye to eye on many things. We fight a lot. He doesn’t think the the things I think are important matter. At all. And frankly, it irritates me. Can’t he pretend to go along? He will humor me, but still, not happily. We have never had a…
Read MoreAcceptance Is Not About Resignation
The special needs “warrior mother” is a well-known figure. She’s the mother that kept pushing, read all the literature, challenged the doctors, demanded services, lobbied congress: in short, she changed the world and then went on Oprah to promote the book. Chances are she’s reading this right now… boy, am I in trouble! Yet how often do we hear of the warrior fathers? Crickets. When I first heard the experts murmur the A word, my defense mechanisms kicked into high gear and I immediately erected a wall of denial around…
Read MoreIt’s Different for the Dads
I imagine it’s different for the dads. The dads like my husband. Last night I sat in the bleachers of a cold hockey rink watching my middle son play hockey. I glanced back behind me and took note of all the dads standing in a row. My husband was sandwiched in-between a group of 5 or so men. A snapshot out of the suburbia playbook. They all shared a striking resemblance. Middle aged men. Black jackets. Black facemasks. All wearing hats. We are in the stage of life I suppose.…
Read MoreWhat Are Your Expectations?
I remember my very first autism workshop about 3 years ago like it was yesterday. Sitting in a room filled with other autism moms and dads, I didn’t know what to expect. Not knowing, that day would be one of the most important days of my life. Being surrounded by people who had the same questions, same worries, same fears, it gave me the opportunity to openly discuss autism for the first time, and made me realize that we’re not alone on this autism journey. The first question directed at…
Read MoreA Letter to My Wife and All Special Needs Mothers
To the wives, the girlfriends, and the mothers: We haven’t said these three simple words often enough… We see you. From moment one, mother’s of our children, we watch as you push grief to the side and take the lead at the moment of diagnosis. You run like a prized thoroughbred, determined to secure therapies, counselors, and doctors. Searching for the opportunities that will ensure a better life for our babies, despite the chaos. You are miracle workers, moving mountains by sheer will, even when we, the husbands, boyfriends, feel…
Read MoreI Blamed Myself For My Son’s Autism
When I found out I was going to be a father, I was beyond excited. My wife and I had been trying to conceive for years before she got pregnant. So when she told me I was going to be a father, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops! I made sure to call my wife everyday at work to make sure she ate lunch… I’m sure I annoyed the heck out of her. When we found out that we were having a boy, we started to plan everything.…
Read MoreThe Autism Dad
I’d like to talk about The Autism Dad for a moment. You’ve probably come across him once or twice. It’s not always obvious at first. He’s the guy attempting a smile while his son screams. He is the man who holds his teenager’s hand as they walk down the street, oblivious to the stares. He is the father whose vision of coaching Little League and relaxing on Sunday afternoons sprawled in front of the football game have been replaced by sessions of Applied Behavior Analysis, and speech therapy. This…
Read MoreThe Ability to be Vulnerable
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son is diagnosed with autism. His name is Jack. He is fifteen years old, and over six feet tall. As an autism mama, I am pretty used to advocating for the things we need, whether it’s an adjustment to his IEP, or a new kind of therapy, or a change in his medication. This has not always been easy for me. I have sat in many meetings, and through many appointments, with a bubble of rage in my…
Read MoreA Dad’s Words: It’s just Different
We headed over to the ribbon cutting. Less than a mile away. Through the neighborhood and onto the new road. You could see the firetruck waiting to spray the kids from our house. Teenagers in band uniforms, unloading their instruments, waiting to play some upbeat song. I was on my bike, surrounded by a dozen kids. Almost all boys. Sawyer and his friends. Ages ranging from 5 to 13. They were talking about the free ice cream. Apparently that is the draw to get people to come out on a…
Read MoreThanking the Special Fathers
I know the diagnosis was a lot for you to handle at first. I remember you not showing any emotion. I kept wondering how you felt? Did it bother you? Do you accept it? I know at first it made you really sad. Every father’s dream is to have a son. You wanted him to take your passion in football as well. The interest in sports. Helping him at his T-Ball games. Talk about girls. The list goes on. I know that hurt a lot. I know this has been…
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