Posts Tagged ‘Parenting Grief’
My Son, You Have Taught Me Amazing Things
A letter to my son, As we approach your 3rd birthday I can’t help but reflect back on these past years. It’s just been you and I from the start. And although some day’s feel like an eternity, I still catch myself wondering ‘where has the time gone?’ God made me the luckiest woman alive when he chose me to be your mom. Thank you for your tender kisses, and for your ferocious hugs. For showing me in return all the heart and soul I have poured into you,and for…
Read MoreA Pick-Me-Up for the Parent of a Newly Diagnosed Child
We’re pretty new to this whole scene. We had our “Autism Ah-ha moment” about 6 months ago. My son has no creative speech, eats his five favorite foods, and sleeps sporadically. He won’t look you in the eye and he’s uncomfortable in a crowd. I used to feel stymied. I was consistent with nap and bedtimes, why was he still sleep deprived? I took the pediatrician’s advice and offered him a variety of foods multiple times, why wouldn’t he eat? Before I understood how my son experiences the world, I…
Read MoreI just Focused on Making Life Easier
This morning my son slept in until 7:30. That is unheard of for him. To say at age 8 we’ve had our fair share of sleep struggles is the understatement of the century. We live sleep struggles. But lately, we have some days that are better. Easier. Traditionally, he wakes up before 4 am, comes in our room, sets all of his treasures and blankets on the floor next to our bed, undresses, turns all the lights on, goes potty in our bathroom, and then stands next to my bed…
Read MoreI Don’t Understand Why
I’ve numbed myself now for quite some time. I went from my daughter getting a diagnosis to my son having autism too. When I realized he was on the spectrum it really hurt because I thought he would be the typical child that would help with his sister and that I would be able to relate to on a level I feared my daughter might not be able to. When he began his aggressive behaviors- this beautiful boy I love- that is when it became too much. The whole process:…
Read MoreThe Never-Ending Cycle of Adjustments
Often I think life is so unfair. Why did my child get autism and virtually no one else I know has a child with it? My son was diagnosed with autism at 2 years 10 months, right before he was about to age out of First Steps, Kentucky’s early intervention system. At the time, I was pregnant with my second son and scared to death my baby would be diagnosed eventually with autism as well. I was one of the “lucky” ones, though, I guess, because he was identified early…
Read MoreDreams Change
“When he is older he will be grand”, “he’ll grow out of it”, “ah you would never know looking at him”. Just some comments that are frequently said to me about my little boy. The reality is people just don’t get it. When you become a parent, you dream of doing so much with your little baby as they grow. Trips to the cinema, out for ice cream together, trips to the beach, or just out for a walk holding hands. I dreamed of all of these things too. I…
Read MoreEbenezer Scrooge has nothing on an Autism Christmas
A look at our Christmas present, present and future… CHRISTMAS PRESENT As I sat alone with my oldest, panting from our recent wrestling match, keeping him from darting off for the third time, I realized I was an outsider at our own family celebration. I watched as if I was outside a storefront window. This beautiful unattainable family holiday gathering performed in front of my eyes. How badly do I want to fit in. How do I wish that just once my boys could have a happy Christmas gathering. I…
Read MoreLearning to Love Life with a Special Needs Child
It was still dark out when my eyes opened. One child was still breathing quietly under the comforters, while another cozied up next to me suckling at my breast. There was just enough time for me to put on a face and prepare for Julian’s Christmas party. If he can get 45 more minutes of sleep I thought to myself, we will be in good shape. I could coerce him into wearing something other than his dinosaur sweat pants…And just maybe, he will take delight in his Christmas party! I…
Read MorePieces in Our Puzzle
Our little family has three children. We have twins (a boy – Nolan and a girl- Harper) who are five and another little girl, Mia, who is almost three. It took us three years, three miscarriages and two rounds of IVF to finally have our twins. I thought that would be the hardest part of our parenting journey. I thought that we had made it to the other side and now we would just be a “normal” family. I was wrong. When Harper, our oldest daughter, was 15 months old…
Read MoreThe First Day of Autism
The first day I realized my baby boy was autistic is one of those days that will forever be etched in my memory. Like the day my husband and I found out in the ultrasound room that our baby was a boy, or the night we walked together on our favorite trail while I was in labor with him. My husband sang to my stomach to let Johnny know he was loved, and that we were waiting for him on the other side of the dark. I remember it like…
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