We Waited Ten Years For This

Beautiful things are happening between these two brothers. Things that we weren’t sure would happen. Things we accepted may never happen. Because we just didn’t know. They have never played a game together, at least not in the traditional sense. Sawyer tried for years to engage his older brother but never had any luck. It was heartbreaking for him. But lately, Cooper is loving to wrestle, tickle, run, and chase his brothers. It came out of nowhere. It’s a gift. He laughs so deep from his belly and his face…

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Ten Years Old and Nonverbal

Nonverbal communication is a pretty amazing thing really. My son Cooper communicates mostly with sounds: Think grunts and squeals and gasps. He points a lot. And brings things to us and brings us to things. He places his hands on ours and guides them in certain ways. He touches our lips and uses his hands to turn our faces to see things. He uses his iPad to show us pictures or videos of things he wants to tell us about. He does some typing. But only words that are important…

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The ‘Why’ of Nonverbal

I catch myself staring at my son and drifting off to another place.  In this place I think of what his voice would sound like. I think of what it would sound like if he could call me Momma.  Over these past few years, I’ve realized time has stood still. My son has progressed into an older version of himself. He looks older…but some parts haven’t progressed. He should be telling me no, yelling at his sister as he chases her around the house and telling me what his favorite…

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What Does it Mean to be Grateful?

What does it mean to be grateful? I think gratitude can look different for each individual person. We all want a happy life. Some people may be grateful for a good job and financial stability. Others may be grateful to be a stay at home parent, raising and watching their children thrive and grow. Gratitude is a powerful human emotion. In its simplest form, gratitude refers to a “state of thankfulness” or a “state of being grateful.” Thanking others, thanking ourselves, gratitude in any form can enlighten the mind and…

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Age is Literally Just a Number

Today I find myself decluttering. It usually makes me feel quite a bit better…when I’m in one of those random funks. But if nothing else, today’s chore left me feeling more gloomy than anything. I first tackled the hall closets, our makeshift office in the spare bedroom, and then turned my attention to Beckett’s room. Truth be told, there isn’t much going on in our son’s room..to declutter, or otherwise. Of course, he has a sturdy, nice bed, complete with ladder and slide. There are various decorative pieces on his…

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The Deafening Silence

My son Knox, five, lives each day with non-verbal autism. He has said some words, many sounds, but there is no consistent voice for him. Consistently, there is a deafening silence. A silence that makes my heart drop with each unanswered question I pose to him. A silence that is so loud, it makes me want to scream in pain. Scream in pain for him, for me, and for the voice that our family so longs to hear from him. A silence that is so deafening, it is all I…

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Dora the Pirate

I’d love to bring you a smile today. Because over here we are grinning from ear to ear. A week or so ago, my son Cooper took an interest in Dora the Explorer. But not just any Dora. Because she has always been his favorite. He wanted to dress like Pirate Dora. He wanted her hat, jacket, backpack and black boots. He wanted to board a pirate ship and search for mermaid rock. He wanted a pet monkey named Boots. He wanted whatever the pig characters were too. He asked…

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Dear Stranger

Dear Stranger, You have been going to the same coffee shop as my son for a few weeks now. In fact, you have tried to engage and make conversation with him. Two days ago, you found out the reason why he doesn’t answer you, the reason why he struggles to make eye contact with you and the reason he eats the same thing, day in and day out. He has autism and has limited verbal abilities.   You were told this information so you didn’t think he was being rude…

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His Best Friend

Let me show you the beauty of my son’s world. And how my perspective has greatly changed over the years. A few days ago, Cooper, who is 9, began showing me a still frame of Dora the Explorer on his iPad. Dora happened to be wearing a purple pirate outfit. She was with her crew on a boat. They were making their way to Mermaid Rock. He has showed me Dora and her purple outfit at least a hundred times. Cooper also happens to be nonverbal. Meaning, he can’t necessarily…

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Your Smile

In my life, over the years, there have been a few things that have taken my breath away. The day I kissed my husband and committed my life to him as his wife…that kiss took my breath away. The night I found out I was going to be a mommy for the first time. The world stopped spinning and for a split second I stopped breathing.  My daughter had a febrile seizure on top of me when she was 16 months old and I held my breath while my husband…

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