Posts Tagged ‘marriage’
Date Your Spouse
My husband and I spend a lot of time together. But not quality time. He is throwing baseballs and I am doing dishes. He is folding laundry and I am washing a baby in the tub. We are together. But not really. We don’t actually talk. We just do. All the things. And then at the end of the night we are so tired we just sit in silence with the tv on mute. Four kids will do that to you. Tonight we are at a concert together and it…
Read MoreHappy Valentine’s Day to My Best Friend
My sweet husband, You and I have never been big Valentine’s people. Or gift givers really. Ever since we had kids we always say we will take a day together and go shopping and buy something for each other but it never happens. There’s never time. And well, this Valentine’s Day feels even less lovey than the others. For starters it feels like we have spent every minute together since last Valentine’s Day. That’s a lot of time together. It’s also -5 degrees outside right now which is making us…
Read MoreThe Secret to a Long Marriage
I don’t know a lot about marriage. Even after 13 years I find it to be exasperating most of the time. It feels like work a lot. And I know it shouldn’t be. But with 4 kids, autism, an emotional 8 year old, sports, a toddler, work, and a baby…well, we could very well be speaking different languages most days. But this afternoon, watching my husband get in the pool with 15 rambunctious, crazy, insanely loud boys, I remembered exactly why I married this guy and will gladly spend the…
Read MoreThe Witching Hour
Unpopular opinion. I hate grilling. I mean, I love all the food that comes off of said grill, but I hate that at our families most stressful time my husband gets to stand in the garage cooking glorious food while I manage a fight club in our living room. He’s waving to the neighbors and dead heading flowers and nursing a beer while I’m nursing our youngest and chasing our toddler who has somehow gotten into the pantry and opened up a mac and cheese cup. ‘Mama! Yellow snow!’ My…
Read MoreLessons I’ve learned About Marriage While Raising a Special Needs Child
We’ve spent so much of our time and marriage teaching our son how to communicate that somewhere along the way my husband and I forgot how to effectively do that with each other. Days are long, sometimes sleepless nights feel longer and the added stress of balancing therapy appointments, bills, insurance calls, and so on makes it harder to remember you’re on the same team. I’ll never say marriage is harder for those of us raising special needs children because I have no proof that’s true, but what I can…
Read MoreTo My Incredible Husband – I Thank God For You
A life partner or soulmate is a person who accepts you for exactly who you are without the desire to change or fix you. There is a deep and unspoken respect between both partners. Your strengths compliment theirs and you hold each other tightly during challenging times. The healthiest relationships are rooted in open and frequent communication. Following my first marriage, it took time for me to feel comfortable in my own skin and redefine what truly makes me happy. Although I burdened myself with the assumption that I’d be a single…
Read MoreHappy Valentine’s Day to My Best Friend
My sweet husband, You and I have never been big Valentine’s people. Or gift givers really. Ever since we had kids we always say we will take a day together and go shopping and buy something for each other but it never happens. There’s never time. And well, this Valentine’s Day feels even less lovey than the others. For starters it feels like we have spent every minute together since last Valentine’s Day. That’s a lot of time together. It’s also -17 degrees outside right now which is making us…
Read MoreWhat Autism Took From Me
It’s hard to write this — As I look at our wedding photo from 31 years ago, I almost don’t recognize the woman in the photo. I can’t help but think what autism took from me…from us. There were so many years I spent my nights sitting in front of my computer, trying to find a way to help our son. I lost count of how many hours I spent. I was going to help him even if it meant I lost you. I couldn’t do both and I hoped…
Read MoreSometimes, We Argue
Hey buddy, I am sorry you heard Daddy and I argue tonight. I know it’s scary. But sometimes, people disagree. No, no one is getting a divorce. I promise. I have known your father since I was nineteen years old. Yes, that’s right, back in 1994. We went to the same college, but we actually met in a restaurant, where we both worked. It was the end of August, right before classes started. No, I don’t remember what I had for lunch that afternoon. No, I can’t remember what day…
Read MoreLove and Marriage and Our Son
I have been married for twenty-one years. My husband Joe and I have five kids. Our second son has autism. He is fifteen. Now, I may not know much, but I do know children exert an extraordinary amount of pressure upon a marriage. They like teeny-tiny constriction workers, yielding jackhammers If you add one in who never sleeps, smears soap on the walls, and screams all day, well, that’s when things get really interesting. You is righteous. You are never home on time. You have to take care of the…
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