Don’t Forget About the Siblings

Really sweet story I wanted to share with you. My son Sawyer is 11 years old. When I describe him I use words like smart, athletic, kind, and empathetic. I honestly think he got the best parts of his Dad and me. And of all four of my kids, I worry the most about him. That surprises people sometimes when I share that. But he’s my tender one. He carries the most. And he worries the most about his brother Cooper who is autistic. The other day, during a game,…

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Brothers: When Their Worlds Overlapped

I have four kids. My older two are 13 and 11. Brothers. Cooper is 13. He loves trains and DVD cases and bright colored paper. He is part fish and would live in the water if I let him. He does not like sports. Not one bit. But he adores sitting in the sun with a queen sized comforter and a pillow. My 11 year old lives for a party. He plays hockey and baseball and anything competitive. He adores babies and puppies and asking me for Roblox. Talks and…

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The Best Birthday Gift I Have Ever Received

This morning I walked downstairs to my sweet boy sitting on the couch, surrounded by his treasures. He waved. It was quick though. He was very busy watching his shows. He takes his show watching very serious. Especially on early mornings. ‘Cooper, it’s mom’s birthday today!’ I said. Now I don’t know what I expected. Not words of course. But a cheer. A smile. A gasp. But nothing. He looked back down. It stung. Like a tiny bee sting or a poke in the side. But the pain is duller…

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Do Not Be Ashamed for Getting Help

I committed a pretty big social media mistake once. Well, way more than once since then, but I remember this one specifically because it was my first. It was well over 6 years ago, but I still shake my head at how tone deaf I was. I posted a quote on Instagram to my hundred followers that said something like, ‘I should get a little credit for doing this all unmedicated.’ I thought it was funny, I guess. My followers did not. They lashed out. At first I couldn’t understand…

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Through the Rolodex: A Mother’s Reflection on Memories

As a mama I often feel like my mind is a Rolodex of memories. With four babies, I have so many of them. Births to birthdays, first smiles to first steps. Preschool graduation. Home runs. Road-trips. Some are readily available. Resurfacing often, bringing simultaneous smiles and tear to my eyes. But others, they are buried down deep, seemingly forgotten, until something reminds me. A sound. A smell. Another child. My younger babies doing what the now older ones once did. And there it is. A memory of something not forgotten.…

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Seemingly Simple Mundane Moments

It’s 64 degrees out today. In April. In Minnesota. The pool is set at 80 degrees. We opened it this weekend. Our second son Sawyer has had multiple friends over to play. They jump. They shoot hoops. They talk baseball and hockey and Fortnite and girls. Our third son Harbor doesn’t leave their side. Not even for a second. He is a shadow to these older boys. I listen. And read. And smile. And referee. And judge jumps. And Cooper, my oldest, he is right there with them. He is…

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Getting Help as a Special Needs Parent

I’ve been having some minor medical stuff going on. Nothing huge but still annoying. I finally broke down and went to the doctor. Which never happens. Simply put, I don’t have time. I explained my symptoms. A cold that never ends. A cough that keeps me up. Extreme fatigue. Exhaustion. Anxiety. Trouble sleeping. She asked if I was under stress. I laughed. Manically actually. I told her about my life. My job. About my 3 boys. Their ages. Their schedules and needs. I told her about my Cooper. About autism.…

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How Can I Help During a Meltdown?

One of the most helpless times for me as a mom is when my son is having a meltdown publicly. My attention and focus turn 100% to him. I drop what I am doing. Quite literally. If I am holding a purse or a coffee I drop it. My son is a runner so I know that I need to chase him. Until he falls to the ground. And then I have to try and keep his head safe, and get him outside. I try to do this with minimal…

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