Posts Tagged ‘father’
The Push and Pull of Motherhood
Do any of you feel a constant push and pull as a mother? Because I do. I have four beautiful children ages 11 to 11 months. Every second of my life is full. It’s messy and loud and so full of love and joy and lack of sleep that some days I just want to cry. I miss reading. And sitting. And thinking. It’s amazing too though. The best really. But the push and pull. I’m feeling it a lot lately. I spent the last couple of days with my…
Read MoreA Father Who Stays
I made a list once of all the great qualities and traits the perfect boyfriend would have. As a middle schooler the most important thing to me was personality. I loved to laugh so he needed to be funny. The list also included blonde hair, green or blue eyes, tall, good looking, nice, romantic, outgoing and other superficial things. As I matured, the shallowness of my list dwindled and I realized the qualities that truly mattered in a partner. Hair and eye color wasn’t a big deal anymore. He didn’t…
Read MoreAutism is a Mirror
You may be surprised to learn that, for me, as the father, the most challenging part of having a child with Autism, was neither the financial strain, the disruption of my family’s social dynamic, nor the isolation. No. It was none of the common challenges we all share as the parents of Autistic children. But, please, allow me to digress. It’s no exaggeration to say that when Finn was born, it was one of the four absolute greatest days of my life. His beautiful face. Those curious eyes. His mothers…
Read MoreA Real Tinder Profile
When we are younger, dating and know everything, we are looking for certain things in a partner. Obviously, someone we are sexually attracted too. Someone with a good sense of humor. Similar interests. A good job. Shared values. Twenty-somethings don’t think about 15 years down the line. Babies, stress, snoring, weight gain, a midlife crisis, money struggles and literally not one second to think, sit or relax. I have to laugh at what a good husband is to me now, after three kids, a mortgage, and nonstop chaos. You wouldn’t…
Read MoreDad adopts girl with Down syndrome who was rejected by 20 families
Long before I became a mother I attended a lunch-and-learn about adoption. At the time I worked for an amazing social services organization as a Project Manager. They also offered adoption services. I loved kids. I wanted to learn more. I also wanted lunch. As I sat there I learned about the insane costs and time that goes into adopting a child. Story after story of parents fighting for babies. The exhausting and emotional process was laid out for us. I learned that everyone wanted a baby. I learned that…
Read MoreA Dad’s Words: It’s just Different
We headed over to the ribbon cutting. Less than a mile away. Through the neighborhood and onto the new road. You could see the firetruck waiting to spray the kids from our house. Teenagers in band uniforms, unloading their instruments, waiting to play some upbeat song. I was on my bike, surrounded by a dozen kids. Almost all boys. Sawyer and his friends. Ages ranging from 5 to 13. They were talking about the free ice cream. Apparently that is the draw to get people to come out on a…
Read MoreBe With the One Who Gets It
Be with the man who holds a leg in the delivery room. Who helps hold your boob when you are sobbing over trying to get a newborn to latch at 3 AM on day two. Who thinks you are beautiful despite the baby weight. Be with the person who changes diapers. And I don’t mean just baby diapers. The one who will change them long after age 2 and 3. And coaches t-ball and goes to every hockey game and Miracle League Baseball Game. The one who gives your babies…
Read MoreMy Son, Keep Being You
My son, It’s been over 4 years since your mom and I found out we was going to have a baby. I remember when she told me. I was excited, but I was freaking out too. I always wanted a son or daughter. That was what I was excited about. I was nervous, because of the troubles your mother and I have had trying to have a baby. We had miscarriages, and we done testing. We did not know if having a child was in the cards for us. You…
Read MoreThe Extra Mile Dad
You. What would I do without you? The father of my children who goes the extra mile. We have an extra mile child. He has extra needs. We are learning together. Learning how to best parent our sweet boy. Together. We have our bumpy times walking this extra mile. We may not agree, we may not yet understand, we both are sleep deprived. We keep going. When our son was diagnosed I know how hard it was for you. You were in Afghanistan when I was on the phone telling…
Read MoreA Dad’s Letter to his Nonverbal Son
Dear Cooper, I remember the moment it truly hit me that your autism was forever. And not just a word. Or a thing that other people’s kids had. It wasn’t when your mom told me that something seemed off. Or when she did the checklists late at night. I remember I got so mad at her. I defended you. I listened to her say things like nonverbal and delayed and I refused to believe that was you. I couldn’t figure out why she was looking for something that simply wasn’t…
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