Posts Tagged ‘autism parent’
What Are Your Expectations?
I remember my very first autism workshop about 3 years ago like it was yesterday. Sitting in a room filled with other autism moms and dads, I didn’t know what to expect. Not knowing, that day would be one of the most important days of my life. Being surrounded by people who had the same questions, same worries, same fears, it gave me the opportunity to openly discuss autism for the first time, and made me realize that we’re not alone on this autism journey. The first question directed at…
Read MoreThe Aftermath of an Autism Dignosis
“Mommy, wake up. I love you,” I hear Rhys’s raspy little voice say into the darkness as he holds my face in his hands. It’s before 6am and that champagne from last night is now wreaking havoc on my head. But I open my eyes and pop up to greet Rhys, fueled by this new milestone we’ve reached: saying “I love you.” Both proactively and in the appropriate context. Sure, as parents we all get melty when our children say “I love you.” But when Rhys says it, it’s magic.…
Read MoreDiagnosis Day
I know you are hurting. I know you are worried. I know your whole body is trembling, and clammy with sweat. I know, because I once heard the very words you heard today. Yes, it is Autism Spectrum Disorder. I heard them fifteen years ago, when I was a New Autism Mama. Now, I am an Old Autism Mama. Take a deep breath. Just breathe. It is a diagnosis, that’s all. Yes, it is life-changing. Yes, it is official, and important. It is also momentum, and possibility, and a chance…
Read MoreThe Autism Dad
I’d like to talk about The Autism Dad for a moment. You’ve probably come across him once or twice. It’s not always obvious at first. He’s the guy attempting a smile while his son screams. He is the man who holds his teenager’s hand as they walk down the street, oblivious to the stares. He is the father whose vision of coaching Little League and relaxing on Sunday afternoons sprawled in front of the football game have been replaced by sessions of Applied Behavior Analysis, and speech therapy. This…
Read MoreEvery Autism Mama
I’d like to take a moment, and introduce you to an autism mama. You’ve seen her before, pushing a cart in the grocery store, or holding hands with a teenager in the parking lot. She usually looks tired. Maybe her mouth is pressed into a thin line, her skin a papery white. This autism mama, she might come across as impatient, or abrupt at times. Try not to take it personally. She has formed a kind of shell, you see—a layer to protect herself against well-meaning comments about behavior and…
Read MoreAutism as a Full Time Single Mom
My five year old son has autism. I am currently a full time single mom, who used to be a part time dog mom, and that about sums up my little world. We are a little over two years into the diagnosis and up until seven months ago, my son was considered nonverbal. He has made huge strides in so many areas, mostly in speech, and I am so, so, so grateful for the therapy and resources we have used to get us to where we are today. I don’t…
Read MoreMy Son, You Have Always Been You
My son I have a confession to make. Back when you were little, I used to dream about a you without autism. I was lost, and sad. Worried and confused. And I thought that there was a you, deep inside, that didn’t have autism. I would search for him. I would think, once I find that you, this will be all better. I just have to try harder. I was going to do everything in my power to get to that you. The you who talked. Who played. Who made…
Read MoreWhere Would I be Without Autism?
I had an interesting experience this past week. My husband and I volunteered to be apart of a research study looking at how having a child with autism affects our marriage. There were a lot of expected questions like, “what things are more challenging when you have a child with autism compared to other families?”, and “how do you cope with the stress as a married couple”. Some of the questions were hard to answer, some were very easy. There was one question that struck me to the core that…
Read MoreI Need to Live Forever
Yesterday, while driving in the car, my husband and I had the conversation I have been dreading for years. The conversation that makes my heart hurt and brings tears to my eyes instantly. The conversation about the future. The one that needs to be discussed but breaks my heart to even think about. When I first became a mother to a little boy, I pictured ball games and cleaning muddy feet before they walked into my house. I pictured a future so different than the one we were discussing. Our…
Read MoreHow Can I Help During a Meltdown?
One of the most helpless times for me as a mom is when my son is having a meltdown publicly. My attention and focus turn 100% to him. I drop what I am doing. Quite literally. If I am holding a purse or a coffee I drop it. My son is a runner so I know that I need to chase him. Until he falls to the ground. And then I have to try and keep his head safe, and get him outside. I try to do this with minimal…
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