Posts Tagged ‘autism mom’
The Nudge that Led to Hope
When covid hit, much like everyone else, our world was turned upside down. Schools closed. Jobs moved in-house. Daycare paused. We hunkered down. We all became overly familiar with Zoom. Parents began to hate snack requests. We rationed toilet paper. And one other thing happened for us. One that I would have never in all my years thought could have happened. Our mental health services for our son Cooper stopped cold. The place that never closed. Never took a sick day. Acknowledged as few holidays as possible…shut down. And to…
Read MoreDear Sawyer
Dear Sawyer, You are seven and I am writing down the stories I want to share with you when you are a grown man. So you know about our secret world. Last night I went to your bedroom to tuck you in but you weren’t there. So, I made my way to your older brother Cooper’s room and saw you holding him. It brought tears to my eyes. The protective way you were holding him was beautiful. He’s been driving you bonkers lately. He has this desire to be near…
Read MoreA Letter to My Wife and All Special Needs Mothers
To the wives, the girlfriends, and the mothers: We haven’t said these three simple words often enough… We see you. From moment one, mother’s of our children, we watch as you push grief to the side and take the lead at the moment of diagnosis. You run like a prized thoroughbred, determined to secure therapies, counselors, and doctors. Searching for the opportunities that will ensure a better life for our babies, despite the chaos. You are miracle workers, moving mountains by sheer will, even when we, the husbands, boyfriends, feel…
Read MoreHis Best Friend
Let me show you the beauty of my son’s world. And how my perspective has greatly changed over the years. A few days ago, Cooper, who is 9, began showing me a still frame of Dora the Explorer on his iPad. Dora happened to be wearing a purple pirate outfit. She was with her crew on a boat. They were making their way to Mermaid Rock. He has showed me Dora and her purple outfit at least a hundred times. Cooper also happens to be nonverbal. Meaning, he can’t necessarily…
Read MoreA Trip to the Zoo
We just returned from an outing with just our older son. It was his day to get spoiled by mom and dad. For the first 9 years of his life he didn’t really care about outings or gifts or getting spoiled. But slowly over time he has started asking us to go places. Some are not doable…if anyone knows how to get Dora the Explorer to our local fire station please let me know. He’s asked my daily for months now. I’m not sure how long…‘mommy’s trying’ is going to…
Read MoreThank You For Always Having Your Brother’s Back
To my eldest son, On Monday you asked, “Mummy what is autism like?” I told you my answer, and we sat and watched an animated explanation, showing how your brother sees the world differently to you. As I waited outside the school gates for you yesterday, you saw us and came running up with your arms held wide. “Hello, Rhys” you said, taking your brother’s hand in yours. The cars flew by us on the busy road, and you mentioned the noise and how scary it must be for Rhys,…
Read MoreThe Autism Bomb
Halloween brings back memories… A lesson in labeling our children with special needs. I believe this was just four years ago when peanut was eleven years old and her brother nine. This year it was just us four celebrating the holiday and the kids and I were trick or treating only a few houses down from where I am sitting as I write these words. I was not physically far from them, because I physically do not leave her side for very long, even back then. Always keeping an eye…
Read MoreIt’s Time For A Change
I’m feeling conflicted and heartbroken for my autistic son’s future. As I’m getting dressed for work today, I noticed my sixteen year old son, Lawrence looking at all the headlines and stories in the news… My son then makes the comment, ‘I dislike cops.’ Wow. Talk about a feeling of confusion as I’m now wearing my uniform. I am a Corrections Office and a Field Training Officer. I’m also a single mom, doing my best to raise a developmentally disabled son that has huge communication issues. He is not aggressive. He…
Read MoreInside Her Head
Let me tell you something about an Autism Mama. Her brain never stops—not for one single second. All day long, it circles and loops and worries and wonders. It is a flow chart of appointments, and therapies, and specialists, and schedules. A veritable melting pot of hypothesis, and hope—optimism, and sorrow. It moves very, very quickly, this brain of hers. Like a bird alighting upon sunlit branches, it moves from one thought or idea to another. Dinner. The latest research about gluten-free diets. How to stop him from chewing his…
Read MoreBattling the Darkness
There was a time our life changed. We went from ‘typical parents’ to special needs parents. Although I still don’t see the differences. We have a different struggle, but we are still parents. Autism crept into our lives and changed the way we used our voice, while we were fighting for other kids. It sneaked into ours and asked us to use our voice for our own children. Our son was the first to be diagnosed…never did we think we would take the same road twice. I think I grieved…
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