I Choose to Find the Joy at Christmas

As a child, did you ever wake early with anticipation? Were you one of the children who rushed to see exactly what was under the tree? I was. Patience was never a strong suit and surprises are something I am still not a fan of. In fact, Christmas memories are some of my favorite from my childhood. My mom, her sisters, sometimes her brothers, their spouses and up to 11 kids crammed into one home for up to a week celebrating not only the magic of Christmas but the blessing…

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Thank You For Including My Son

Disclaimer: Due to privacy concerns, names have been changed to protect the identity of minors. There’s a little girl in my son Nicholas’s class. I’ll call her “E.” Nicholas and E just met this year in Kindergarten. They like to play outside together. They like to sit by each other in school. They even like to hold hands. You may think this is a typical friendship story. A cute little love story. You may think you’ve already heard this story before. But this is different. This is a story of…

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Our Biggest Day

Lately, I’ve been sharing a lot of firsts for my son Cooper. Tonight, was the biggest one yet. He and I sat and watched an hour long flag football game together. He sat. He watched the timer. (Two 25 minute half’s is a long time!) He waved at his brother who was playing. He held my hand. He asked my 486 times for trains. And we were present. Together. A family of five. This wasn’t just any first. This was a first we have worked towards every day of his…

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This Is Independence

Two weeks ago, this kid asked me to ride the bus. Sorta out of the blue. He verbalized it…’H-U-SSS.’ (B’s are hard for him.) He showed me busses on YouTube. He showed me busses in books. He pointed them out in the community. And me, being the mom I am, smiled, cheered, and thought…no way. I’m too scared. He’s too vulnerable. I can’t do it. Nope. But his dad, well he reminded me how I preach about independence. Nonstop. I want my son to make his own choices. I want…

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He Did His Best

Today was a big day for this kid and our family. We went to the Afton Apple Orchard. You know the kind with lots of noise and people and waiting and walking. And we went as a family. We invited our friends to come along as well. See in our world, we need help. We know that now. We know our strengths and our weaknesses. And our Cooper, he requires both mom and dad sometimes. We had a lot of wins today. Cooper petted his first llama, sheep, donkey and…

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We Are More

You must be sad… I’ve heard that phrase a few times over the past couple weeks. You must be sad your son rides the shorter bus… You must be sad he’s not in the gen ed room at school… And the zinger, the one I felt like a shot was fired and received, you must be sad you will never have a normal life… These statements, they don’t necessarily come from a place of hate or anger. They come from a place of misunderstanding. They simply don’t understand. I am…

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Look For the Silver Lining

So many things could be said about the lack of “sunshine” surrounding a diagnosis such as Autism Spectrum Disorder. It’s labeled as rigid. And scary. And lonely. And most people (including us early on) are uneducated about ASD. Simply because it is thought to be almost “taboo”. In our case, we went through all the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining… all of them). Then you do yourself a favor, and you arm yourself with knowledge. Suddenly, the sky clears up, and you come around to the “acceptance” stage. I…

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“Looks Like You Had A Great Time”

Today our family went for a boat ride. When we finally docked after being on the water for a few hours, a sweet older gentleman walked by, saw our three adorable kids and said…’looks like you had a great time?!’ Jamie and I both looked at him and said unanimously…’oh no! It was awful.’ But we said it with a smile and a laugh and the man couldn’t help but laugh with us. See, it was 57 degrees, windy, cloudy and cold. I had thought it would be a beautiful…

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The Beauty Of A Complicated Path

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the paths that each of my boys will take as they grow up. Three sons. 9, 7 and 1. Cooper, my oldest, well, it’s been complicated. So many daycares until we finally couldn’t find one to take him anymore. Then starting in the school district at age three, multiple day programs, IEP meetings, transportation to and from, trusting the world with my tiny, yet mighty, nonverbal, unaware child who could hardly hold up his backpack. I waved goodbye to a child who didn’t know…

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Measuring Success a Little Differently Than Most

A few days ago, Cooper had an event at his therapy center. This was the first event he has ever had. While many of you parents may have had different outcomes, Cooper was never included in any programs when he was in public education. Looking back I am pretty sad about it. But that’s a story for another day. Anyhow, today, he attends a full-time autism program. We made the decision to pull him from public education during his kindergarten year when it started to feel like he was being…

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