Posts Tagged ‘autism blog’
Finding Comfort with Two on the Spectrum
To my amazing little boys, Oh my beautiful boys. Where do I even begin? You both are loving, sweet, crazy, energetic, sensitive, hardworking, and special. I know you live a life that is harder than it should be. Every day when you wake up, you face challenges that I can’t even begin to understand. I’m sure if I understood everything you face between your sensory issues, lack of communication options, and constant need for routine, I would be impressed that you even make it out of bed some days to…
Read MoreA Time Before Autism
I had a rare hour of silence from autism today and I let myself get lost in old photographs. Oh, the cuteness of Cooper. He’s always been beautiful. Right from day one. So beautiful in fact that many people struggled to believe something was wrong. As I scrolled back through the years I felt so many emotions. Before Sawyer. Before the therapies. Before the diagnosis. Before we knew. Cooper’s beautiful smile in every picture. As the photos got older I started to recognize myself. There I was. Smiling holding Cooper.…
Read MoreA Letter to My First Born: Thank You
To my first born Omar, I want to thank you. Thank you for the ways that you have held me together. For the ways that you have been able to carry a weight so heavy on some days that it should have dragged you down. But it didn’t. You smiled through. There were times I was so distraught and so impatient, that you didn’t need to forgive me for my loss of control and failure as your mom. But you did. From the first time you heard your brother needed…
Read MoreToday, Self Care is…
Today, self care is leaving work early to pick up Sawyer from preschool and waiting with him for five minutes while he examined a crack in the sidewalk. Which he was sure was a secret path to the middle of the earth. As I tried to rush him along he told me, ‘NO MAMA. I am doing science.’ So of course, I squatted down beside him, in the cold and drizzle, and looked for the center of the earth. Self care is getting home in the daylight and walking my…
Read MoreThe Diagnosis: My Daughter has Autism
Sadie has autism. She doesn’t make eye contact. She is in her own world and doesn’t notice anyone around her. She doesn’t speak. She’s not potty trained. She doesn’t know how to play “appropriately” with toys. She’s regressed. She may never be independent. She can’t sit still. She has sensory issues. Sadie has autism. The words coming from Sadie’s pediatric specialist that day made my stomach turn. She diagnosed her within minutes of meeting her. It was so obvious to her that Sadie has autism and it was something I…
Read MoreWhen your Search for Answers Brings Sadness
Hey friends. First, a huge thank you to everyone that emailed, commented and messaged me after my sad post a few nights ago. I read every word. Second, here is the video I know many of you have been waiting for. A few days ago we took our son Cooper for an appointment at the Mayo Clinic. This was the first of eight appointments over the next couple of months. It’s a big deal in our world. I finally found a doctor that will look at Cooper’s whole case….not just…
Read MoreThe Quest for Balance in the Midst of Chronic Chaos
Isolation. Special needs parenting is isolating for me. I know it’s my deal. I choose to give my daughter all I have. But I am also just doing what I know to do. I am admittedly exhausted. Burnt out even. People always ask, ‘How is Lexie doing?’ Sometimes, I really just wish they would ask how I am doing. With all of her multiple diagnoses and challenges in many ways she is doing better then her Mama. What do I do everyday? I cook because providing nutritious, delicious food is…
Read MoreIt’s Okay To Not Be Okay
I know a lot of friends are waiting to hear about our day at the Mayo Clinic. I have so much to say. And tomorrow I will do a video. But tonight I am sad. And I’m just going to be sad for a while. Autism is so unbelievably hard. Some part of me always believed that this was going to get better. I thought maybe, just maybe, someday, he’d snap out of it. He’d start talking. He’d tell me about his day. He’d call me mom. I thought someday…
Read MoreMy Most Important Lesson: Be Kind to Yourself
Everyday I struggle. I am used to accomplishing things, crossing things off my list, working everyday, juggling the 3 boys and their activities, homework, dinner and all the things. I am still learning to accept our new normal- my new normal. The days are very long and there is lots of time with William. The journey itself has been long. After a year and a half of testing, therapies, day treatment and hospitalization my sweet 11 year old now has an ASD diagnosis from Fraser, along with Anxiety and ADHD…
Read MoreTell Her My Name Mama
Yesterday, we had a social worker visit at our house to chat about Cooper’s waiver and complete paperwork for the upcoming year. This is nothing new. We have people in our home constantly discussing Cooper. That’s the world of autism. We used to have friends come over for dinner and drinks and now we have social workers and therapists come over and talk about autism. Oh, how life changes. Anyhow, yesterday was especially chaotic. Even for us. Sawyer wanted to make jello. He wanted a drink and a snack and…
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