Posts Tagged ‘advocate like a mother’
You Taught Me About Autism
I got the following email this morning. To all the parents who wonder if they are making a difference by advocating for their children…here ya go. Hello Dear Kate, I have been watching your videos for years now. Ever since I started this Facebook. I am an old lady. Almost 70 years old. My children are grown. My grandchildren are grown. I live in a small town in the middle of America that no one has ever heard of. I have never met an autistic person. Honestly, I didn’t even…
Read MoreImagine Something Hurts
Imagine something hurts. But you can’t tell anyone. You want too. You try even. But it comes out in different ways. Ways that people don’t understand. You try to get attention. But they won’t listen. You scream. You hit your head. Because that’s where the pain is. The screaming makes people frustrated. The hitting makes people stare. You drop to the ground because you are exhausted. You roll. You try to get the pain out of your head by pressing your ear to the cold, cool ground. People stare more.…
Read MoreI Found My Voice This Year
It’s time for New Years Resolutions. I made mine mid year somehow and didn’t even know it. For years I tried to help my son find his voice and in the process I found mine. Once my son was diagnosed I lost mine I think. I just wanted to do everything right for him. I found my voice this year. It’s a loud one and one spoken with love. I stood up for myself, my son and for both of our mental health. I fought for him to have a…
Read MoreNo Child Left Behind
It is November and the first progress reports have been sent home and parent-teacher conferences have happened. My son Caleb is adjusting well to 5 days a week of Pre-K. His speech has improved, we are using sentences with 3-4 words and answering some ‘yes and no’ questions without prompts. I am definitely seeing the growth from last year. His teachers and I both agree that we have to continue working on independence. He sticks to them like glue and gets jealous of the younger kids. At home, he sticks…
Read MoreAn Autism Mom’s Perspective on 20 Years
Twenty years…How can it be two decades since you came into this world with a hail storm in June? No kidding. On June 4, 1999 my sweet Jake was making his debut into this world unremarkable, when somewhere around 4:15pm, the sky got dark, and as everyone in the room noticed began to peer out the window, a hail storm came, with thunder and lightening… Then, the sun came out, and minutes later you were born…my sweet, Jake Timothy Helms was born, 4:40pm 9 lbs 3 oz.. On that very…
Read MoreMoms, You are Good Enough
I never realized how much I wanted to be a mother until I was told I couldn’t. Until I was told my body would fail me. My body wasn’t, “good enough” to do what a woman’s body was, “supposed to.” I never knew how much I wanted to be a mom until that honor was taken away from me. After 2 ½ beautiful months he left our home returning to his teenager mother who changed her mind. One final signature, one last document, a teenage mother’s changed mind, and my days…
Read MoreTo the Special Needs Mom on Mother’s Day
I am thinking about you today. I want you to know that everything you do matters. When you crawl into bed at night, aching from your temples to your toes, know that you have done enough. There may have been no progress made with toileting, feeding therapy or communication today and that is okay. Your child is safe and so loved. The weight of hectic schedules, parent trainings, OT, PT and visits with every other MD in-between can feel suffocating. The research, the meltdowns, the battles over chicken nugget brands…
Read MoreWhen Saying “Enough” is OK
“So your saying that Hudson was recommended for speech therapy…but he isn’t currently receiving those services?” My eyes dropped down to the table in front of me. Without making eye contact with the therapist, I responded “No. I just couldn’t get him to one more appointment during the week.” Boom! Immediate mom guilt set it, and along with it came a flood of emotions that I wasn’t prepared for. First: GUILT How could I as a mother not provide my child with a therapy service that he was recommended for?…
Read MoreTo the Person Who Judged Me
To the person who judged me, How could you say it’s my fault my child has Autism? How could you go so low. When I am already at my lowest. You have no idea the struggles we have went through. You have no idea all the hurdles we’ve had to jump. All the sleepless nights. All the meltdowns. All the frustration. Being so emotional because your child doesn’t speak, and you have no idea what is wrong. All the doctors and therapy appointments. Feeling so isolated. Wanting to cry 24/7.…
Read MoreDemanding a Seat at the Table
When my son was diagnosed with autism, I remember this almost immediate pressure to become part of the club. To advocate. To take a stance for or against something. And this mama wanted nothing to do with any of it. My son was three years old. We were still trying to wrap our heads around autism and figure out what worked for him. We didn’t know what was wrong with the system. We were just surviving. Our lives were hard. Our days were long followed by even longer nights. And…
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