Posts Tagged ‘Accepting a diagnosis’
Mostly, Autism Is Just Lonely….
You can ask any autism parent about what it’s like to raise a little person with a big diagnosis. You will get many answers about what it’s like. And that’s because there are no two autistic people that are the same. And on top of that, I think parents acknowledge and accept it in different ways. For me autism is frustrating. And exhausting. And heartbreaking. And dreadfully hopeful. And painful. And above all a process. A slow process that crawls along with glimpses of the future. Autism is expensive. And SO…
Read MoreRiding The Roller Coaster….
I got a call yesterday afternoon from Cooper’s school. It was a man asking me about our experience with Fraser. He said he didn’t have any specific questions and would like if I just spoke freely about our experiences. I told him an overview of our story and that we loved Fraser. It has changed our lives. He was the sweetest man and said he was at a loss for words at the love we have Cooper. He then went onto tell me that his autistic nephew is 11 and…
Read MoreTricking Dr. Google
I was chatting with a wonderful mom over at My Yellow Brick Road the other day about our autistic boys. Facebook messaging with her is so amazing for me. I can be honest and open and I don’t need to preface every sentence with, “I swear I’m not a bad mom” or “Don’t judge me.” It’s refreshing. And she gets it. I tend to be obsessive about Cooper. It’s kind of my thing. Pre diagnosis I would research everything. I googled things like, “nonverbal at age 3, nonverbal at age 4, my…
Read MoreThe Difference a Year Makes
On Sunday we brought Cooper to see Thomas the Train. Good old Thomas makes a trip to Duluth once a year and it’s a huge day in Cooper’s world. It’s also the cutest thing ever. It’s held at the depot and kids actually get to go on a 20 minutes train ride. Last August when we went and saw Thomas, Cooper was 2.5 and he has just been (mis)diagnosed with a moderate hearing loss in both ears. He was very nonverbal at this point in his life. His breakthroughs didn’t really happen…
Read MoreLet's just get through this 4 weeks of disappointment and move on with our lives.
How did it come to this? Coordinating calendars and therapy appointments. Managing meltdowns and lack of understanding. Hating myself. And my life. I guess I just don’t understand when it happened. I am sitting here trying to remember when it got hard. Cooper was a difficult sleeper from birth but besides that he was a great baby. Loved to eat. Loved to snuggle. Loved to be moving. Then we had the pooping issues. Then the hearing aid debacle. And I will say that whole shit show toughened me up. I learned how…
Read MoreIt's The Anger That Kills Me The Most.
I have been obsessed with autism/apraxia/SPD research lately. I don’t know why it just hit me so hard but lately it’s all I can think about. Cooper is such a mystery and doesn’t seem to fall into any one category. So, I have been scouring blogs looking for Cooper’s twin and I can’t seem to find one. I keep looking for a social 3 year old with no words who has delays. No go on that end but I keep finding all of these amazing moms that are so much farther than…
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