A Letter to My First Born: Thank You

To my first born Omar, I want to thank you. Thank you for the ways that you have held me together. For the ways that you have been able to carry a weight so heavy on some days that it should have dragged you down. But it didn’t. You smiled through. There were times I was so distraught and so impatient, that you didn’t need to forgive me for my loss of control and failure as your mom. But you did. From the first time you heard your brother needed…

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The Diagnosis: My Daughter has Autism

Sadie has autism. She doesn’t make eye contact. She is in her own world and doesn’t notice anyone around her. She doesn’t speak. She’s not potty trained. She doesn’t know how to play “appropriately” with toys. She’s regressed. She may never be independent. She can’t sit still. She has sensory issues. Sadie has autism. The words coming from Sadie’s pediatric specialist that day made my stomach turn. She diagnosed her within minutes of meeting her. It was so obvious to her that Sadie has autism and it was something I…

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The Quest for Balance in the Midst of Chronic Chaos

Isolation. Special needs parenting is isolating for me. I know it’s my deal. I choose to give my daughter all I have. But I am also just doing what I know to do. I am admittedly exhausted. Burnt out even. People always ask, ‘How is Lexie doing?’ Sometimes, I really just wish they would ask how I am doing. With all of her multiple diagnoses and challenges in many ways she is doing better then her Mama. What do I do everyday? I cook because providing nutritious, delicious food is…

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My Most Important Lesson: Be Kind to Yourself

Everyday I struggle. I am used to accomplishing things, crossing things off my list, working everyday, juggling the 3 boys and their activities, homework, dinner and all the things. I am still learning to accept our new normal- my new normal. The days are very long and there is lots of time with William. The journey itself has been long. After a year and a half of testing, therapies, day treatment and hospitalization my sweet 11 year old now has an ASD diagnosis from Fraser, along with Anxiety and ADHD…

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This is My Life

Sometimes I still can’t believe that this is my life.  My son is the one in whatever the number is now.  I am that mom.  That is our family.  I still honestly believe he will surprise us all.  He’ll be the one you hear about. The one where when they’re older you’d never know.  I am not ashamed of my son, nor his disability. It is a part of him and makes him who he is.  But what I wouldn’t give to just make things a little easier for him. …

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To My Son with Autism: I’m Sorry Kid

Dear Son, I’m writing you this letter, a letter that I know you will most likely never read, mainly because I will probably hide it from you. I have so much that I want to tell you, but with you being only 7 years-old, I feel like this may be too much for you, so instead, I will share it with other parents, who, hopefully, will understand. There are things that, if I had the power, I would change to make your life better. But my job isn’t to change…

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A Day in the Life of Autism

Whoa. Just looking at the title makes me overwhelmed. Where to start? There can be so much in just one day….. SO MUCH! And let me preface this post by saying our day does not necessarily describe another family’s day with Autism. Each kiddo is different, their struggles are different and each family’s experience is slightly different. With that being said, yes, there will be similarities as well, but one family’s experience does not encompass every family’s experience with Autism. Our son Charlie…..well, he’s amazing. Simple as that. He has…

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January Guest Blogging Writing Challenge

Hi all! Thank you to everyone that submitted an ‘I am Thankful’ post in November and December. As we turn to the 2018 I’d like to change up the blogging topic! Every year on Sawyer’s birthday I write him a letter. I started when he was two. You can see last year’s letter below. Over the years I’ve started writing letters to the people that have played a role in our autism journey. Friends, family, strangers, even Cooper. Some times I thank them. Some times I apologize. And every time…

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A Letter to My Two Boys

To my boys, It’s December. When I was a little boy I remember December being absolutely magical as it’s the month that houses both Christmas and my birthday. I recall the days leading up to the festivities, being excited and feeling the building anticipation. The snow on the ground, the Christmas decorations and potential school closings would add to the sense of wonder that surrounded the whole season. “Would I get to shovel snow in the morning?” That was seriously a question I would think on the regular. If that…

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A Letter to the Mother of a Child With Autism

Dear mama, I want you to know that when you leave your child with me, he will be safe, loved, and encouraged. I want you to know that I see you and you are not alone. I also want you to know mom, that I see behind your smile and want to hug you every day. When you leave your child at my door I sometimes secretly hope that you are going to do something wonderful for yourself and that you don’t forget to take care of yourself. I want…

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