Guest Post
The Day My Son Was Different
I’ll never forget that day. The day that I realized, this wasn’t just a speech delay. That he wasn’t just a boy that was going to develop at his own rate. I’ll never forget the moment, that I actually had to admit to myself, that my son was more than likely, autistic. I chose to be a stay at home mom. My husband and I made that decision, the very moment we found out about Carter. It was something that was important to both of us, so that’s what I…
Read MoreMy Son, You Showed Me That I Was Stronger Than Autism
A Letter to my son Daniel: It’s hard to believe you are already fourteen months old, as it feels like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms for the first time. I know you are still a baby but I hope to read you this letter one day when you can better understand it all. Watching you grow and reach exciting milestones this past year has healed my heart in so many ways and brought so much joy to my life. You are always smiling and laughing and…
Read MoreIs Letting Go the Key to Enjoying this Journey?
With the flip of a page our Speech therapist asked our son Jojo simple questions as part of an assessment update. The first ones he nailed, naming objects like girl, ball and horse. Then it was, point to the spotty dog IN the box, the teddy UNDER the bed, the dolly with PINK pants. With each line of questions the answers were less correct. These simple questions, that a three year old would know, yet my boy who is turning five next birthday can’t answer. The therapist closed the book…
Read MoreYou Got A Friend In Me
Exactly one year after we received our oldest son’s diagnosis of autism, the four of us are on our way to celebrate a cousin’s birthday. It’s a children’s birthday party, and I’m terrified. Weeks before I had tried to insist to the mother that the dates that were picked wouldn’t work for us, but I was just trying to shield my child. Now here we are, parked in front of their house. I’m always anxious when we stray from our routine, or should I say from Zachary’s routine. As a…
Read MoreI Didn’t Understand Until Autism Happened To Me
I am the parent who is judged. And the parent that I used to judge. I’m the bad parent that can’t control her child. I’m the parent with the backpack leash. I don’t care if you silently mock me or condemn me to parent hell for my child wearing it. You’d surely condemn me if he let go of my hand and darted into traffic, which he would try to do, because he doesn’t understand danger. Two years ago my sister and her daughter came to my house. Her daughter…
Read MoreWhen a Doctor Told Me I Wasn’t a Terrible Mother
So, here’s a thing that happened the other day. I took my son Ivan to the dermatologist to have a look at his moles. We have a history of melanoma in the family and it seemed like the responsible thing to do. Are moles Ivan’s biggest challenge or at the top of our medical list? Heck no! Ivan is totally blind, nonverbal, in a wheelchair and he has uncontrolled epilepsy resulting in multiple seizures a day. We see about a dozen different specialists and dermatology is definitely at the very…
Read MoreDiagnosing Autism in Girls…Not So Easy
I’ve learned that girls with autism are better at masking their symptoms than boys. They are able to watch social situations between people, and then copy what is being done. So, when they have their own situation arise, they are often just using what they have learned from seeing other people interact. Also, girls with autism usually have special interests but they are more in line with typical girls their age. But when you look closely, they are much more intense about them than typical girls. Before my daughter Lillian…
Read MoreMy Son, You Are So Much More Than Autism
Oh, my little pumpkin, what a strange, crazy, exhausting ride this autism thing has been. How did this happen? You were my surprise baby in every way! It was a struggle to get pregnant with your brother. We tried for two years then with the help of fertility pills I finally got pregnant. My doctor told me if I ever wanted to get pregnant it would have to be very planned because I would have to be on fertility pills. I don’t ovulate. Sixteen years later at age 41…SURPRISE! I…
Read MoreIt Happened This Year…I Got a Miracle
It happened this year… I got a Christmas miracle! When you have a kiddo with autism, or delays of any kind, there’s this period of grace. It’s the season of life where adults (for the most part) have or gain some knowledge. It’s the season of life where older kiddos are curious and learn something new. It’s the season of life where kiddos of the same age and younger don’t have a clue. At family gatherings, kiddos just play. Side by side, sometimes joining in, most often not. Fun is…
Read MoreMy Daughter, I See You
Kylie, My Daughter, In a few weeks, you’re turning 10. Oh, baby girl, if I could only somehow let you see yourself through my eyes, you would understand how the years pass so quickly. Just yesterday, I was snuggling you up to my chest, breathing in your new baby smell. Then I blinked and before me stood YOU: an opinionated, passionate, kind, witty girl. When you were a toddler, I remember you walking confidently into Sunday School. You never cried. You simply trusted us to always be there for you,…
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