Guest Post
The Day He Passes You
I absolutely love being a boy mom. Race cars, dirt, and ornery smiles. I had just found out we were pregnant that week with our second blessing. We were sitting on the couch after my oldest sons evaluation awaiting to hear the words I already knew were coming. “You’re son is on the spectrum”. My sweet toddler. Laying on the floor with a car on top of his chest. Spinning the wheels. Months later we find out the baby is a boy. Our second boy. Spinning car wheels flash in…
Read MoreThe Price of Strength
Raising two girls with autism has made me stronger than I ever imagined I could be. I have found strength at my low points that looking back feels like someone else. The rare times when I allow myself to think about why my husband and I “chosen” for this life, I’m not sure it was because we were particularly strong before autism. We were young, invincible, and soul mates from the start. We were together for 4 years before our fairy tale wedding and knew we wanted to start a…
Read MoreFellow Mom, I will Pray for your Peace
I’ve prayed for peace a lot. When you have anxiety, you learn how to manage it and be more calm. Prayer is my favorite and most regularly used tool. If you’re a mom of a child with autism, I will pray for your peace too. When I pray, I usually spend a lot of time in gratitude. It’s hard to worry about anything when you are being thankful for the present. If you’re in conflict with anything or anyone, you can’t be at peace. Anger is not a peaceful place…
Read MoreHow do you Feel about your Son’s Autism Diagnosis?
Our son was diagnosed with autism in October 2018. It’s taken me some time to feel comfortable talking about his diagnosis. I just wasn’t ready to talk about how I was feeling. But now I think I am finally ready to answer the inevitable question that follows my disclosure: So, how do you feel about your son’s autism diagnosis? It’s not a short answer because I have lots of different feelings about the diagnosis… Relief My initial emotion when I got the diagnosis was relief. Relief that the past two…
Read MoreAll I Really Need to Know
“Based on our observation, we believe your son has autism.” The echo of those words lingered in the otherwise silent room. My heart was trying to process what that meant for my son at a frenetic pace, my brain however was reconciling it with all the signs. Yes, this makes sense now! The numerous daycares he’s been kicked out of. The delayed and severely flawed speech development. The lack of interest in the same activities as his peer group. Too many to name really, but it all makes sense. Now…
Read MoreNo One Tells You
Your first child turning 18 is an exciting time in a person’s life, right? A time when the child you grew within you reached the age of legal adulthood. It seems like those 18 years went by in a blink of an eye. A child you raised, guided, and encouraged throughout their childhood actually turned out pretty darn awesome. Your role in their life is different now. The little birdie is getting ready to leave the nest. They are preparing to go out on their own and conquer the world.…
Read MoreAdjustment in Progress: Big Brother, Baby Brother
The nights are the toughest when I’m alone with my boys while my husband is at work. Just now, putting my autistic son to sleep, my almost three-month-old baby boy cries. Gabe, who is six, is instantly anxious. He starts covering his ears, starts humming and whistling loudly. I wait a bit to see if the baby will stop, but he doesn’t. I explain to Gabe that mommy will have to check on the baby. He follows me to the room where the baby is, all the while whistling and…
Read MoreThe Day I Became your Mama
My oldest child, my twin, and the one I’ve sometimes wanted to bust in the chin. Sarcasm, or na? See what I did there. A rhyme for you. I bet you don’t have the slightest clue, but it’s true, God gave me you! You were the one who made me a Mama, more than 25 years ago. I was a mere 20 something years old, when you came. You were a gift from God, ain’t he good! You my daughter, bring joy to my day, come what may. Many times…
Read MoreI’m Letting the Guilt Hold me Back
The days are long but full of so much joy. We spend every waking moment devoted to our kids and a lot of sleepless night when our brains won’t let us sleep. We IEP, we advocate and we constantly search for services. We clean up the same hoard piles 19 times a day, we do therapy and we handle meltdowns like a champ. We get so busy just living with Autism that we forget to live. We forget to take care of ourselves. The guilt that comes with taking time…
Read MoreWhat Autism Gave Us
Autism is the most perplexing thing ever. The saying “when you meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism” couldn’t be any more true. The way it manifests in every child differently. The way it can break your heart by watching your child struggle with what would be the simplest of tasks to a typical child. They way it isolates you from the rest of world. It can make you feel so alone. The regressions it causes. It can make you feel hopeless. Autism can be a…
Read More