Guest Post
A Love Letter to My Neurotypical Wife
Angela, my precious wife, friend, partner, and soulmate, I sit here, looking back over our life, together, having known you for literally half of my own lifetime. I am in awe. I remember your head poking out of the window of that van, and your goofy, funny, amazing, beautiful smile, the day we met. You waved to me, as your ride was parking. I felt a kind of burst, in that moment. I knew I could do this. I knew I could meet you and your companion, and I would…
Read MoreFinding Our Brave
We’ve gotten pretty good at saying no over the past five years. Turning down things with friends. Things with family. Because sometimes autism is just too much. Sometimes the overstimulation and the repercussions aren’t worth it. But today, Jackson made huge strides. We’re trying to climb out of our comfort zones and learn to live again. Opportunity pops up… Dock diving with Jackson and Max with the dog trainers we’re currently working with through Smokin Guns Working Dog Club . Scuba Steve’s Maligator Swamp opened for business today for local…
Read MoreFinding the Silver Lining
Today was not a good day. Yesterday or the the day before was not a good day. My faith is shrinking. My patience is thin. My heart heavy and sad. And a lump in my throat is persistent. I sit with my head in my hands, holding back the tears. Tears of sadness, anger or frustration..I don’t know, maybe all at once. He is so unhappy. He is so angry. Why does he always scream? Why does he always want to hurt us? His OCD is so severe, it causes me anxiety.…
Read MoreDaddy, I’ve Been Watching You
Today, while driving in the car, we heard these lyrics: “He said I’ve been watching you dad, ain’t that cool…I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you….And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are…We like fixing things and holding mama’s hand…Yeah we’re just alike, hey ain’t we dad…I wanna do everything you do…So I’ve been watching you.” I started to tear up. I got to thinking about our little boy. Nathan is 5 and is non-verbal with autism. He can say some words when prompted but cannot…
Read MoreSomething “Wrong”
I often get asked when did I realize you were Autistic, and you are almost always with me when it happens. This is how the question is normally worded – “When did you notice something wrong?” I am usually more polite than this, because asking questions leads to understanding. I want to encourage others’ understanding, but I need you to know the uncensored answer to this recurring question. To be honest, I didn’t notice anything “wrong”. I was too busy snuggling you and thinking your happy flapping was adorable. I…
Read MoreWe Will Not Silence Him
Why is it so hard for some people to realize that Kyle isn’t defined by his diagnoses? That’s not all that he is. It’s only a small part of him. He really doesn’t make any more noise than other children. Just because his noises aren’t concrete words, doesn’t make him noisy. He has his own way of communicating with us. It doesn’t make it bad or wrong. He is working on making his sounds something someone can understand. Who says how he talks is wrong? Why are we labeled as…
Read MoreLet Me Tell You About My Son
Let me tell you about my son. His name is Maxim, but sometimes we call him Max. He has light brown hair, chocolate eyes that twinkle with mischief each time he smiles, and a laugh so big and full of joy it fills you up from the top of your head to the tips of your toes when you hear it. He loves jokes, cars, trains, and the smell of hair after it’s been shampooed. He will roar like a dinosaur to try and scare you, and call out “tickle-ish!!!”…
Read MoreEmbrace the Messy Moments
Embrace the messy moments. That would be my advice to my younger self, now that I’m older and a special needs mom. My first born son is moving out in 14 days. Today as we were cleaning out desks, I found a picture of him at the tender age of three, dressed and ready to go out with what looks like shaving cream ALL over his body. Truth is, it was lotion. Not quite as quick to clean as shaving cream. My first reaction was…
Read MoreWe are Still Doing all of the Things I Dreamed Of
I always wanted a little girl and when I found out I was having one I was thrilled. Oh, the things we could do together as mommy and daughter. Pink dresses girly shoes makeup and shopping! All those things were what I dreamed of. I pictured her vividly in my mind. And truth be told I was glad I was having a little girl. I wouldn’t know how to boy mom although I am sure I would have figured it out. I often wonder when. When did it happen? I…
Read MoreThe First Year of Autism
It has been one year since my youngest daughter, Joelle’s autism diagnosis. One year of so many firsts and so much learning for our whole family! The first lesson I learned was that finding therapies, securing them through insurance, and maintaining these therapies is like a second full time job! There are just not always enough hours in the day! We chose to start ABA therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy and feeding therapy. Basically anything I could find services for, which, due to Covid, was hard. I also joined many…
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