Autism Tips by Carrie Cariello
Hope, Shifting
Hope: to cherish a desire with anticipation, to want something to happen or be true. –Merriam-Webster Dictionary In the beginning, I hoped he would outgrow it. I hoped he would sleep through night at least once, and manage cereal from a spoon, and for the love of all things holy and good, stop shrieking. I hoped he’d learn to read, and understand fractions, and figure out how to eat his food without rolling it around in his fingers. I especially hoped he’d stop the rolling thing when we had spaghetti and…
Read MoreRemember Today
Dear Mama, Do me a favor, and remember every detail of this day—all of the words, sights, and sounds. Remember the tone of the doctor’s voice, and the way the receptionist smiled. Remember the way your heart hammered in your ribcage when you first heard the sentence. We believe it is Autism Spectrum Disorder. It was raining the day my son Jack was diagnosed. The doctor was very gentle, and kind. He watched Jack whirl and spin around the small room and collapse in tears when he bumped his shin…
Read MoreMay We Learn
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, a handsome husband, and the best dog in the whole entire world. His name is Wolfie. My dog, not my husband. My husband’s name is Joe. We have four boys and one girl. Our second son, Jack, is diagnosed with autism. He is sixteen years old. He has had autism his whole entire life. I do not believe there is a cure. When I was young, I didn’t give a lot of thought to what kind of mother I might be.…
Read MoreIt Started With Hope
My story, like most stories, started with hope. Sixteen years ago, hope welled inside of me like an eternal spring of flowers, butterflies, and sunshine. Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids and my second son has autism. His name is Jack. Ever since he was diagnosed nearly sixteen years ago, I hoped for many things. I hoped the doctor was wrong. I hoped he would outgrow it. Mostly, I hoped he would maybe sleep longer than an hour and say the word milk instead of screaming. Over…
Read MoreIf He Get’s Sick
Here in New Hampshire, we are on day 6,382,091 of quarantine. Okay, okay. I’m exaggerating. Its only day 5,847,235 of quarantine. Either way, it’s been a long time. Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids. I live in New Hampshire. Our state has been under a shelter-in-place since March 13th. We are tired of it. We are tired of ourselves, and our house, and our yard. We are tired of walking around the neighborhood. Our dog, Wolfie, is especially tired of walking around the neighborhood. He runs to…
Read MoreConfessions of an Autism Mom
For as long as I can remember, I wished I had a crystal so I could see into the future with my son Jack and his autism. I hated when people said time would tell. Or to relax, it would all work out for the best. I wanted to know it for myself. Since the day Jack was diagnosed, I was always racing against the clock. I wanted to know when he would speak to me in full sentences, and if he would learn to potty train, and the night…
Read MoreFirst, He is a Boy
He is anxiety and rigidity and obsessiveness, cloaked within the velvet robes of a diagnosis. But first, he is a boy. He is letters on a page—black and white sentences with a lot of punctuation, and big, big words. Autism Spectrum Disorder. Poor executive functioning. Low muscle tone. He is a walk around the neighborhood with a lot of complaining, and a visual schedule taped to the desk. He is ice-cold soda in a tall plastic cup, and pizza from the same pizza place every Friday night. Always the same.…
Read MoreWhat I Want You To Know
I stood at the stove the other day, stirring some soup I’d made from leftover Easter ham. My son Jack sat at the counter, reading the back of a DVD. It was a warm day, and the kitchen was bright with late-afternoon sun. If you were to look in our window, you’d probably think we were an ordinary mother and son, enjoying some quiet time before dinner. But things are rarely as they seem. Are we imposters? No, not exactly. We are simply trying to play an unexpected role—me the…
Read MoreSometimes, We Argue
Hey buddy, I am sorry you heard Daddy and I argue tonight. I know it’s scary. But sometimes, people disagree. No, no one is getting a divorce. I promise. I have known your father since I was nineteen years old. Yes, that’s right, back in 1994. We went to the same college, but we actually met in a restaurant, where we both worked. It was the end of August, right before classes started. No, I don’t remember what I had for lunch that afternoon. No, I can’t remember what day…
Read MoreCrumbs on the Counter
Hi. My name is Carrie. I am married to a man named Joe, and we have five kids. Our second son, Jack, is diagnosed with autism. Right now, we are a family attempting to get through a pandemic with as much grace, humor, and kindness as we can muster. This is harder than one might think. Today, I yelled about crumbs on the counter. You could hardly see them, these crumbs. Unless you squinted and tilted your head at a certain angle and the overhead lights were on full blast.…
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