Autism
Baby Harbor
This is baby Harbor. The third baby. The third boy. The third little thief of sleep and sanity. He will be 16 months in just a few days. He is walking, talking, eating with a fork, playing hockey and incredibly curious. Of all three of my boys, he is the busiest. He wants to know how things work. Like the toilet. And Kleenex boxes. And mud puddles. He is also a terrible sleeper. And sick a lot. And he has the best hair. Like ever. Think Garth from Wayne’s World.…
Read MoreI Have to Grow Up Mama
Last night my seven year old had a hockey play date at the neighbor’s house. He hit pucks and went wild and skated while the snow fell down. I know because I saw a Snapchat that his father sent me. I was home with Cooper and the baby playing puzzles and cars and arguing about snacks and the volume of an iPad. As 9 pm approached, I started the bedtime process with two of my boys. Cooper immediately pointed to the front door and said, ‘SSSSAAAAWWWWEEEERRR.’ I told him little…
Read MoreThe Importance of Grace as a Special Needs Parent
I talk a lot about grace on this page. A word that honestly didn’t mean all that much to me before this journey. But now, well, grace is everything. Because as parents, we can be way too hard on ourselves. When I speak to parents of newly diagnosed kids, and parents of kids diagnosed long before autism was a common word, they all tell me similar stories. Every single parent. They tell me about the things they didn’t know. They didn’t know that their child was in pain. Or they…
Read MoreI Never Knew Being A Mother Would Be So Hard For You
Hi, my name is Kate and I am 36 and I’m having a serious case of lost identity. Or maybe it’s a midlife crisis. Or a little post-partum depression. Or maybe I’m just tired, overweight and mentally drained. Who knows which one. I have three boys, a husband, a home, and a job I love. I am beyond blessed. I have devoted my life to the humans in my life. And again, most days, I am happy to do it. But some days, some weeks, I don’t feel that way.…
Read MoreIt’s About Quality of Life
I looked around while standing in the security line at the O’Hare International airport. Time to go home. I was only here for 24 hours. Not even really. I attended an amazing event for an amazing cause and slept through the night. I call that a successful trip. My hands were full, as they usually are. I was juggling my 2 bags, ID, cell phone and cup of coffee. I always get nervous in the security line. Like I’m breaking some law I didn’t know about. I picture myself getting…
Read MoreWe Don’t Blend In
We don’t blend in, this kid and me. Not that we ever did, but I’ll admit when he was smaller it was easier. We got by with the graces people bestow on toddlers and energetic kindergarteners. But 9. Well, 9 is a whole different story. Nine is four feet, four inches tall. Nine is feet almost as big as mine. Nine is big and loud and noticeable. I used to care a lot when people stared at my son. At us. I would start to sweat and my face would…
Read MoreFor Those Who Came Before Us, Thank You
If you have the honor of meeting a parent of an adult child with a disability, I want you to say thank you. I want you to shake their hand. Because these people, these parents, paved the way for parents like you and me. And for our children. They probably won’t brag though. They also won’t argue with you online about trivial things either. Because they’ve seen it all…and they know what’s worth fighting over. These are the parents who upon finding out that their baby was differently abled, were…
Read MoreHard Work
Some kids work really hard before they start their school day. Harder than most. The get up early and leave the house in the dark when it’s 19 degrees and go to speech and do puzzles and practice saying words. They sit on the ground with their angel-like therapist and their mom and try. They turn the lights off and run out the door and giggle and get mad when the sounds won’t come out right. The ask for hugs from mom when it gets to hard and practice calm…
Read MoreWhat is a Brother?
Brothers. Two years apart. Almost to the day. One loves Legos and Mindcraft and hockey. The other one loves being tickled, old train magazines, and game shows. One never stops talking and asks endless questions that sometimes make me laugh and other times drive me up a wall. The other one is more choosy about what he communicates. He makes us work for it. But when he does, mostly it’s mom, snack, home and yes and no. And cookie. And most recently Starbucks. I thought they would be best friends.…
Read MoreMisunderstood in Public
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son has autism. His name is Jack. He is fifteen. Every so often I come across an article about how a person with a diagnosis or a disability was asked to leave a public place because they were too loud, or disruptive, or misunderstood. Broadway musicals. Movie theaters. Water parks. When you have a child diagnosed with autism, doing something as simple as going to the grocery store, or a Little League baseball game, can be a challenge.…
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