Autism showed up in my life five years ago. I had no idea about it before that, and it saddens me that I was oblivious to this world until it affected my family. Now, I wish for inclusion. I wish to educate the future leaders of society about people like my son and families like mine, who live in a world within this one, which very often can feel lonely, isolated, and restricting. Autism is cruel and also beautiful. I grieve the son I thought I’d have, and I celebrate…
It was a beautiful spring day at the park in 2012. Olivia was only three years old and we had just recently gotten her official Autism diagnosis. She was running free not paying attention to anything. Breeze in her hair, sun on her beautiful face, stimming her happy sound, “Eeeeee” stopping only to put her hand up and watch it turn in the sunlight. I am always running right behind her to keep her safe. She makes a sudden stop, plops herself down, and starts inspecting these little yellow “flowers”.…
The day I learned autism was now a part of our journey seems like a lifetime ago. No one in our family or immediate circle of friends had a child on the spectrum, and it wasn’t something we were familiar with. I had a flawless pregnancy. All I could think about was taking baby bump photos, rocking him to sleep, never missing a bedtime story, and making my own baby food. Nowhere did I think I would have a baby who didn’t sleep, one who struggled to eat, didn’t babble,…
Is she happy? When I think about my autistic daughter, that is the question that is always in the front of my mind. When I think about school, when I plan a trip, when I go to the store, or when I look in the rearview mirror and see her staring out the window of the car, it is always on my mind. Do I want her to learn to read and write? Yes. Do math? Sure. Gain skills of independence and make friends? Of course. But in the end,…
Many of us that live with autism are familiar with the comings and goings of something that feels like a ticking time bomb; one that disappears for periods of time, so much so that we might forget about it. Then suddenly, this bomb drops at our doorstep in the form of a returning or new obstacle, so intense that it causes us to pause our lives, alter our plans, maybe even change our current paths. For our family, the new challenge has been sudden piercing, momentary screams. Not constant or…
I never thought I would have four kids. I’m not sure if I’ve ever shared that before. I thought two, maybe three. But four? It still surprises me sometimes. Four is loud. Four is chaotic. Four is wonderful. Four is fulfilling. Today I woke up first. Which most definitely surprised me because as my two middles went to sleep last night I heard them plotting to wake up early to catch the Easter bunny. As I got the coffee going my third son came downstairs. Together we woke up Sawyer…
Some days, I can’t help but watch. Watch everyone else and envy how easy things seem to be for them. Deep down I know that everyone has their own struggles, but it’s hard to shake the feeling that our day-to-day life is so much more complicated. At school drop-off I watch as other kids jump out of their cars and walk confidently into the building, while we have to park and walk our son directly to his para. And at pickup, I see kids my son’s age walking home or…
‘He had a snack and went right in and pulled the covers down for a nap. He must have been up early this morning. He is one happy child.’ That’s the text I got this morning from my mom. Cooper’s grandma. If you follow our story you know that Cooper has been waiting for his grandma to come home from Texas for nearly four months. It’s been very hard for him. He loves her so much. And he doesn’t quite understand all the ins and outs of wintering somewhere warm.…
When you don’t have a child with a disability you don’t think too much about it. Until your life is touched by it, then you think about it differently. It’s personal. Of course, everyone knows there are individuals with disabilities, but it’s not directly affecting your life. You may think there is not much you can do anyway. That is where you are wrong. We need to stand and advocate for everyone, especially those who are vulnerable. We have come a long way in the way we treat and think…
When you have a child diagnosed with autism, it’s not about you as the parent. At least that’s what we are told. Your sole focus becomes helping your child. Getting them the help they need. Services. Supports. Therapies. Education. And so on. That’s the role of a parent. And that’s how it should be. But one part that is overlooked, I think, is the evolution of the parent. Their journey. And the patience that should be given to them when everything changes suddenly. It’s not easy ya know. Stepping off…
