Today, self care is leaving work early to pick up Sawyer from preschool and waiting with him for five minutes while he examined a crack in the sidewalk. Which he was sure was a secret path to the middle of the earth. As I tried to rush him along he told me, ‘NO MAMA. I am doing science.’ So of course, I squatted down beside him, in the cold and drizzle, and looked for the center of the earth. Self care is getting home in the daylight and walking my…
I often wonder why my son has autism. Why him? Why me? Why our family? There are nights where I’ll agonize over everything I did when I was pregnant. There are days when I’ll agonize over whether I should be doing more. Some days I’ll dwell. Some days I won’t. I call this the roller coaster of special needs parenting. And some days, I just want to read a beautiful poem like this one by Erma Bombeck. Enjoy. The Special Mother by Erma Bombeck Most women become mothers by accident,…
Sadie has autism. She doesn’t make eye contact. She is in her own world and doesn’t notice anyone around her. She doesn’t speak. She’s not potty trained. She doesn’t know how to play “appropriately” with toys. She’s regressed. She may never be independent. She can’t sit still. She has sensory issues. Sadie has autism. The words coming from Sadie’s pediatric specialist that day made my stomach turn. She diagnosed her within minutes of meeting her. It was so obvious to her that Sadie has autism and it was something I…
Hey friends. First, a huge thank you to everyone that emailed, commented and messaged me after my sad post a few nights ago. I read every word. Second, here is the video I know many of you have been waiting for. A few days ago we took our son Cooper for an appointment at the Mayo Clinic. This was the first of eight appointments over the next couple of months. It’s a big deal in our world. I finally found a doctor that will look at Cooper’s whole case….not just…
Isolation. Special needs parenting is isolating for me. I know it’s my deal. I choose to give my daughter all I have. But I am also just doing what I know to do. I am admittedly exhausted. Burnt out even. People always ask, ‘How is Lexie doing?’ Sometimes, I really just wish they would ask how I am doing. With all of her multiple diagnoses and challenges in many ways she is doing better then her Mama. What do I do everyday? I cook because providing nutritious, delicious food is…
I know a lot of friends are waiting to hear about our day at the Mayo Clinic. I have so much to say. And tomorrow I will do a video. But tonight I am sad. And I’m just going to be sad for a while. Autism is so unbelievably hard. Some part of me always believed that this was going to get better. I thought maybe, just maybe, someday, he’d snap out of it. He’d start talking. He’d tell me about his day. He’d call me mom. I thought someday…
Everyday I struggle. I am used to accomplishing things, crossing things off my list, working everyday, juggling the 3 boys and their activities, homework, dinner and all the things. I am still learning to accept our new normal- my new normal. The days are very long and there is lots of time with William. The journey itself has been long. After a year and a half of testing, therapies, day treatment and hospitalization my sweet 11 year old now has an ASD diagnosis from Fraser, along with Anxiety and ADHD…
Last April, Cooper and I were playing at an inclusive playground in our town. The park was developed by a family of a little girl with Cerebral Palsy. It was the one place that I felt comfortable bringing Cooper alone. With inclusive playgrounds, the objective is to include everyone. They are thoughtfully designed to provide a safe place where children of all abilities can play together, and are developmentally appropriate for children with and without disabilities. Just as the name suggests, inclusive playgrounds have another mission that goes beyond the physical accommodations and specialized equipment.…
Yesterday, we had a social worker visit at our house to chat about Cooper’s waiver and complete paperwork for the upcoming year. This is nothing new. We have people in our home constantly discussing Cooper. That’s the world of autism. We used to have friends come over for dinner and drinks and now we have social workers and therapists come over and talk about autism. Oh, how life changes. Anyhow, yesterday was especially chaotic. Even for us. Sawyer wanted to make jello. He wanted a drink and a snack and…
I am my seven year old autistic son’s person. I have been since the day he was born. He looks for me in a crowd. He seeks me out in our home. He demands me. He is always touching me. If he is wandering he demands that I am the person that follows behind. If I take a break to relax than he is clinging to me until I get up. And until recently he never developed relationships with other people. He didn’t see the value. People in our lives…
