Posts

Thank you Grandma, Love Your Nonverbal Grandson

December 10, 2018

Dear Grandma, Grandma! Grandma! Grandma! I know that’s what you so badly want to hear me say. I want to say it too! Thank you for waiting patiently to hear it. Just know when I grab your hand and pull you to the couch that is my way of calling your name. Thank you grandma for waiting for me to get off the bus from school everyday. I know somedays I’m so tired after school and I’m not always easy to handle. But you still greet me with the biggest…

When Do We Stop Trying?

December 10, 2018

When do you stop trying to do the normal stuff? Is it like introducing a new food to a toddler? I read years ago about weaning a baby and introducing food saying you should try your child with something 8-10 times before you accept they don’t like it. Is life the same? Or am I being cruel? We are in our last couple of days of our vacation (we call it a holiday). I have tried my best not to push my son’s boundaries too much but just enough to…

At the Crossroads of Anxiety and Acceptance

December 9, 2018

Today, our son’s anxiety won. I say that because his anxiety is like it’s own force. It’s a thing. It’s always present. Always lurking under the surface. It always wins. It shuts him down and takes over. We were supposed to take our family to a hotel to celebrate Christmas with our extended family. We made the huge, ginormous mistake of telling Cooper three days before. We needed him to try a swimsuit on to make sure it would fit. We messed up. Not him. He couldn’t handle the anticipation.…

Heaven in the Midst of Hell

December 7, 2018

My youngest son was recently admitted into one of the best facilities in the county; Kennedy Krieger Institute Neurobehavioral Unit in Baltimore Maryland, where he will be for the next four to eight months minimum. This comes after about a year of severe aggression towards our family, (mainly me), property destruction, elopement, disruptive behaviors and unbelievable self injurious behavior (at times over 400 times a day). We sought several resources in Iowa, where we live, two inpatients facilities, both which were unable to provide him the help he needed. We…

Today His Anxiety Is…

December 7, 2018

My son has anxiety. Real, serious, debilitating anxiety. Before Cooper, I didn’t know that an eight year old could have anxiety. I didn’t think they had anything to worry about. I mean…he’s fed. He’s happy, loved, clean, cared for, safe. He lacks or needs for nothing. And yet, on days like today, he can’t function. He can’t hold it together. He can’t turn the page. He can’t build a bridge. He can’t move on. He can’t think about anything else. It’s like a video in his brain is paused. A…

I Am Thankful for My Family

December 7, 2018

I am thankful for so much. I am thankful for my job, my health, and my sense of humor. Which really helps when we are stressed out!) But most of all, I am thankful for my family. My family consists of my father, my mother, my brother, my husband and my boys. My husband’s wonderful family (his father, mother, brother, and sister) are absolutely wonderful and we love them to no end, but they are very far away. Let me start with my mother… My mother and father live about…

To My Husband, My Daughter’s Advocate

December 7, 2018

Saying that I am ‘thankful’ for you, my husband, doesn’t quite feel right. I am thankful, but I am much, much more. I am indebted. I am awed. I am overcome. You are our most valuable resource. Shortly after receiving our daughter’s autism diagnosis, without much discussion and no hesitation, you agreed to quit your job. You said, “I want to do whatever is best for Stella.” You never wavered. I’m sure that staying home with her and driving her back and forth to therapies all day, six days per…

Would I Recommend Medical Cannabis for Autism?

December 6, 2018

I promised I would give updates on our journey with medical cannabis for our severely autistic son. Cooper has been using it for almost four months now. And daily, I receive the same three questions from family and followers: 1.) Is the medical cannabis working? 2.) Would I recommend it to other children? 3.) Have I seen any negative side effects? My answers are pretty long winded and I cover them in the video below. But to summarize, yes, medical cannabis is ‘working’ for my son. I have seen huge…

It’s Not Always Easy

December 6, 2018

Hear me out on this one.. I share our story because so often I receive messages from fellow special needs parents that their hearts are broken. All the time it’s questions, remarks on the ‘how’ and ‘why’ do we make parenting a child with significant needs look easy. I always step back and take a breath. It’s not easy. We literally spend all of our time working to give our son Jake the best quality of life for HIM. And to be honest, that does not always equal OUR best…

Cooper is Eight

December 6, 2018

Eight years ago my world was turned upside down with the arrival of my first born son. My Super Cooper. The one who made me a mom. As I sat down to type this post I let myself think back over the last eight years. And I thought about all of the words I could type. The stories I could share. The highs and the lows. The amazing joy he has brought me. And of course autism. I’m struggling finding the words right now. Birthdays are hard. They are a…