I’m Afraid your Daughter will Endanger Us

I absolutely loved my oldest daughter’s kindergarten teacher – I really felt like we were partners in helping my daughter.  But, not a day went by that I didn’t get a note, an email, or in the worst case scenario, a phone call.   I will never forget the day she told me she was worried my daughter would endanger her class.   When Olivia was in pre-K, her teachers seemed to be setting the stage for an ADD diagnosis.  But she was only three, and then only four, and…

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Endless Nights

There are 24 hours in a day.  Every hour is 60 minutes.  But I am quite sure the hours between 1:00 and 6:00 AM are at LEAST 6000 minutes each. Lonely hours spent alone with my thoughts. I have been awake during these hours because I am feeding an infant. I have been up because I have insomnia and can’t sleep.  I have been awake because I suffer from chronic pain or a cold and so I just can’t get comfortable. A sick and hospitalized child or other loved one…

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It’s Not All Sunshine and Rainbows

Times are hard right now. For everyone. And if you’re a parent of a child with a disability, being off school isn’t as “cute” and “pretty” as it may seem across social media.  I’m not saying every minute of every day is hard, but it’s not all fun crafts and cookie baking either.  As I sit and reflect after a very difficult day, I want to express my feelings and the reality so many families are facing right now.  You see, cancelling school doesn’t just mean no school for a few…

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That Little Empty Spot

When your last born loses her first tooth, it is supposed to be a little sad because one realizes that their baby is growing up. And will soon spend long summer days riding bikes and playing neighborhood games.  They are learning math facts and reading classic stories like, “If you give a Mouse A Cookie”.  With her bouncy little smile she ran to me and grabbed my hand and brought it to her tiny bottom tooth on the left.  It was so close to being free.  She had been using…

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Love and Marriage and Our Son

I have been married for twenty-one years. My husband Joe and I have five kids. Our second son has autism. He is fifteen. Now, I may not know much, but I do know children exert an extraordinary amount of pressure upon a marriage. They like teeny-tiny constriction workers, yielding jackhammers If you add one in who never sleeps, smears soap on the walls, and screams all day, well, that’s when things get really interesting. You is righteous. You are never home on time. You have to take care of the…

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What They Don’t See

They don’t see how much you are struggling just to enter a room full of people.  They don’t see your mom cringing and scanning the room immediately for triggers or danger.  They don’t see how bright the lights are or how loud the conversations can be to your beautiful brain.  They don’t understand why you cover your ears, bite your shirt, or self injure because the anxiety is too much to handle and your meltdown is not a typical toddler meltdown and you don’t know how to self soothe.  They…

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Please Remember the Kids Like My Daughter

I can’t catch my breath. Not because I’m sick. But because I’m scared. I know that this is a difficult time for all of us. I’m especially scared though for my daughter Liz and for other kids with special needs. And for their families. Liz’s therapy center is now closed indefinitely. No ABA, no speech therapy, no occupational therapy. I am scared that she will regress and lose much of the progress that she has made without access to these therapies. She has worked too hard and come too far…

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Social Distancing; A Way of Life for Some

Social distancing. For a lot of people this is a new concept. Being alone, nowhere to go, no play dates, no birthday parties, no big family gatherings…staying home alone seems to be make people very uneasy. It’s hard and people are reassuring each other that “it’s just temporary“ and that life will go back to “normal” soon enough. But for some of us, this has been a way of life for a long time. What if this is your new normal? I get it. I used to be the mom…

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Two Strangers with One Incredible Thing in Common: Autism

A few years ago, when my daughter was diagnosed with autism, I went down the wormhole of Instagram searching for someone who could understand. I didn’t know a single person on the spectrum, and all of my friends had typically developing children, so I was desperate to connect with anyone who could say, “I get it,” instead of the “I can’t imagines” that were being hurled my way. And then I stumbled upon a beauty queen. A title holder in the Miss America Organization, to be exact. A woman with…

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The Unspeakable Word

If you are a parent like me with a child on the spectrum, chances are we both have something very unique in common. Something that most would think is a very simple thing to do, something that is just a part of life. But for us, it’s not. Do I dare say this forbidden word? I don’t know if I can handle to even whisper it…but here it is: “HAIRCUT”. Yes, there, I said it. This word in the Autism world for most is a very, very bad word and…

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