Posts by Kate Swenson
How I Forgive
Did you see that story about that school in New Jersey who left a student with Down Syndrome out of the yearbook? Her name is Glenda. She is twenty-one years old, and the youngest of five kids. Her sister wrote a long, detailed post about it on Facebook. It was a good post. “Glenda is very active in the school and community, so from her perspective, it was really hard for her to understand why she wasn’t included.” My name is Carrie. I have a son with autism. His name…
Read MoreToday, Be A Tiny Bit Selfish
Have you had them yet? The days that are a little harder to get out of bed, maybe because there’s nowhere to be or maybe because you just don’t want to. Not yet. The hot showers interrupted by the yelling outside the door, quickly followed by the thought of “I just don’t want to parent today.” Or maybe it’s the little moments that hit hard. The Zoom birthday parties that are missing all the elements of an actual celebration. Or having to say no when your kid innocently asks to…
Read MoreHe Loves You Kiddo
He loves you kiddo. I know it’s hard to see since he doesn’t care too much to play with you. Closing in on 5 years old, and missing half your school year, you need a lot more socialization than you get from a brother with autism, work from home dad, and the homeschooling/teletherapy/snack juggling mom. You often ask why your brother doesn’t talk or play, won’t ride bikes, and tears down forts once you build them. I overhear you trying to play, and I can’t truly describe what it feels…
Read More10 Things That Helped Me During Meltdowns As An Autistic Child
One of the more common questions I get asked as a professional speaker and autism self-advocate is about my communication challenges. After this question though the majority of the questions are about my previous meltdowns due to sensory-overload. As a nonverbal child until I was 3, most people think my main obstacle was communication when actually it was sensory integration dysfunction. My main challenges included loud noises, inclement weather, bright lights and not being able to be bathed until 18 months old due to the textural feeling of water on…
Read MoreHope, Shifting
Hope: to cherish a desire with anticipation, to want something to happen or be true. –Merriam-Webster Dictionary In the beginning, I hoped he would outgrow it. I hoped he would sleep through night at least once, and manage cereal from a spoon, and for the love of all things holy and good, stop shrieking. I hoped he’d learn to read, and understand fractions, and figure out how to eat his food without rolling it around in his fingers. I especially hoped he’d stop the rolling thing when we had spaghetti and…
Read MoreWhen You Become a Parent
When you become a parent, you start to understand that the world around you is a completely different place than you previously thought. Your priorities, goals, and literal realities all change. You think about and plan for baby’s first steps and words, the ups and downs of potty training, learning sports, teenage woes, driving, your kids finding lifelong partners, and eventually grandchildren. It is the most beautiful part of life when you get to see the life you created, flourish. And regardless of how many children you have, you are…
Read MoreA Father Who Stays
I made a list once of all the great qualities and traits the perfect boyfriend would have. As a middle schooler the most important thing to me was personality. I loved to laugh so he needed to be funny. The list also included blonde hair, green or blue eyes, tall, good looking, nice, romantic, outgoing and other superficial things. As I matured, the shallowness of my list dwindled and I realized the qualities that truly mattered in a partner. Hair and eye color wasn’t a big deal anymore. He didn’t…
Read MoreCaptain’s Log: Day 6, Social Distancing
I want to be crystal clear about something. Never once have I wondered what it would be like to spend 24 hours a day with my husband and beautiful children. Never have I considered homeschooling my children. Never have I considered moving out to a remote area, having a dozen more children, living off the land and singing songs like the Von Trapp family for fun. I like work. I love daycare and school. I love people and socializing. And I love Target. So, it’s safe to say this has…
Read MoreAutism and Anxiety
I have the most amazing son. He is 9-years-old. Almost double digits. He loves dancing and holding hands and Steve Harvey. He loves climbing in my bed at 1 am and carrying around 17 sheets of paper, all different colors of course. He smells like the wind. And he can find mud anywhere. He has autism. He is autistic. It is part of him like his blonde hair and ruddy eyes. He was nonverbal until he was 8-years-old. Today, he has 15 or so words. They come and go. He…
Read MoreCaptain’s Log: Day 5, Social Distancing
There are no rules during Corona. It seems we have entered into a reality where time doesn’t matter. Like a Las Vegas casino or the days in between Christmas and New Years Day. Or that movie Groundhog’s Day where every day is the same. Our calendar is wide open until July. Every planned event now with a red line through it. The weekdays are the same as the weekends. We wake up. Drink coffee. Eat breakfast midday. And again an hour later if you are my children. And then ask…
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