February 7, 2026
Leapfrogging Can Turn Into Caregiving
This morning my third son had an early morning hockey practice.
Setting the alarm for 6:30 am for a Saturday always cuts a little deep.
Ten minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off, my eyes snapped open.
Lights were on everywhere. And laying on my chair was my boy. Full dressed in his hockey clothes.
He woke up and dressed himself.
Typical development amazes me. I say that a lot on here. But it’s true. Typical development is a gift. Children that just know and do and try and can.
My oldest has severe autism. He is 15. He is doing things every single day that amaze me. My pride for him knows no bounds. But I can’t imagine him ever dressing himself like that. Not yet anyways.
They say don’t compare. As parents we notice. We just do.
There is a phenomenon in the autism world called “Leapfrogging” where a younger sibling surpasses an older autistic sibling in development.
There are times when it is expected. Times when it takes your breath away.
I didn’t fully grasp that this would happen when autism was said out loud. I didn’t realize I’d be dressing a teen. And bathing a teen. And so on.
I didn’t realize he would be frozen in so many ways and his siblings would surpass.
How could I have known?! My heart wouldn’t have let me I guess.
There is one other part I didn’t realize. That the siblings would turn into the most beautiful helpers.
They turn his shirt around the right way and bring him his shoes and lovingly giggle when he’s wearing mom’s pants.
Leapfrogging can turn into caregiving. Not forced of course. Just offered.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.
