I Want To Raise The Nice Kid

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My second son was in 2nd grade during the heart of Covid.

He was a remote learner. His classes were conducted via zoom.

It didn’t go well for him.

He struggled to sit and pay attention to a screen.

At the end of second grade we learned that his reading and math scores were way below grade average.

I was devastated.

Talk about feeling like a failure as a parent.

Administration said…‘don’t worry about it. All of the kids are behind.’

I worried anyway.

For third grade we sent him to a smaller parochial school.

I held my breath as I sat across from his teacher at his fall conference.

She told me about his reading. And his math. She showed me handwriting samples and test scores and art projects.

And then she said…

‘Kate, your son is one of the nicest kids I have ever met.’

‘He watches,’ she said. ‘He watches for his peers who need friends. Or who have no one to play with.’

‘He seeks kids out who have differences.’

I broke down crying.

Truly. The tears fell from my eyes.

‘Don’t worry about the reading and math. It will come. Sawyer has already learned something that most kids take years to learn. Or never learn. He is accepting.’

That conference changed me as a mom.

I want to raise the nice kid. The kind kid. The kid who helps. The kid who accepts. The kid who sees.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.

Read more blog posts on Finding Cooper Voice here.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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