Stop Measuring Their Lives By The ‘Nevers’

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After my son was diagnosed with severe nonverbal autism at age three, I was told all of the things he would most likely never do.

Speak.
Read.
Write.

Live independently and so on.

As if the people around us, the ones there to help us, knew his future.

It felt crushing.

It was as if his story had already been written. And there was nothing I could do.
Well, there ain’t no determination like the determination a mother has when she is told what her baby won’t do. Mark my words on that.

We never gave up on our son.

Yes, we pivoted. Yes, we accepted his limitations. But we never stopped believing in him and encouraging him where we could.

I was told he would never learn to write. So I pivoted. We focused on typing.

Oh the hours I’ve spent moving his little fingers from letter to letter.

I knew he could do it. And one day it clicked.

My kid can type his Christmas list and birthday list on a whim.

But writing, well, I moved on from that one years ago.

So you can imagine my shock and surprise when last night I asked him to write independently…and he did.

Cooper.

Mom.

No help. No guides. No hand holding.

I gasped. I cried tears of joy.

And the smile on his face.

Like duh lady…

These kids.

We have to stop measuring their lives by the ‘nevers.’

And even more important, the world needs to stop writing their stories for them.

Believe in your kids parents. Believe in them so much that the world thinks you are crazy. And then believe in them more.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.
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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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