There are Two Kinds of Autism Moms….

Just because shits been getting a little heavy in my world… I had a good nights sleep and woke up to Super Cooper carrying a picture around of our family. That kid has an element of sweetness and love I’ve never seen before.  As I made my coffee he grabbed my hand and pointed to my face in the picture, giggled and then hugged my leg. And then my heart actually exploded.  Damn you kid. Just when I was going to give up you sucked me back in.        …

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What If I Lose Him…

One of my greatest fears is losing Cooper. He’s not necessarily a runner or a wanderer, which are traits highly associated with autism, but still….the fear is real. Cooper will most likely not call out if he is lost. Or answer to his name. Or come running. Or even recognize the fear of being lost. And Cooper looks like a completely average little boy and his disability may net even be recognized. So as Cooper has aged, his dad and I know that there will most likely come a time…

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CranioSacral Therapy For Children

I’m not always up for trying new therapy’s with Cooper. And there are MANY reasons why. First, they are expensive. A lot of therapies are not covered by insurance. Pre-autism I was unaware of the black hole of death that is health insurance. When you don’t need it….but have it…it’s great. When you have it…and need it…and your kid needs everything…it can be very tough. Second, no therapy that you want to try will ever be conveniently located or at a time that works. It’s the truth. Plus, my kid…

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I Thought By Now…

I thought by now I would have mastered autism. I truly did. And that I would be the one giving advice to other mamas. I thought by now that my nonverbal boy would be talking away. And potty trained. I thought by this time we would be so much farther along. We are not. In some ways we are in the same spot. Standing still. I just spent 5 minutes scrolling through Pinterest. I entered one word into the search box…Autism. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. Maybe hope.…

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The Truth about Special Needs Parenting

There are no medals given out to special needs moms. It’s not like you do all this and at the end you get an award. There are very few breaks. Very few kudos. And in my world even fewer thank you’s. For some moms there are no hugs. Or kisses. But you do it. You keep fighting. It’s a mixture of hope and desperation. And not a day goes by when you don’t wonder…‘Am I doing the right things for my child?’ And here is the truth. I didn’t get a…

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Trusting the Process

Cooper started Occupational Therapy last night. More therapy. More forms. More time. More time away from Sawyer. More everything. I want to be positive. I want to trust the process. I want to believe that it will work. But…. I kinda, sorta think I have the only kid that therapy won’t help. Less than a year ago we were doing speech 3 times a week and OT as well. We were doing social groups and ECFE and IEPs and parent groups. And it didn’t work. I think it actually did more…

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Mother's Day. Sigh.

This is the 4th year that I have been a mama. I spent a good chunk of yesterday thinking about Cooper’s past birthdays. About all the holidays. And Halloweens. God I hate Halloween now. Any event where Cooper has to participate is the devil to me. Expectations kill me. Valentines Day. No valentines for us. And Easter Egg hunts. And then I thought about the future. This kid is going to be five. He has no words. He has very little awareness. He is going to lose his first tooth soon. And…

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Asking the World to Change

I was at a retail store this past weekend and watched a mom struggling to manage her son during a meltdown. I started thinking about how not that long ago I would have never, ever, ever taken Cooper shopping. At least not on my own. He would run and shriek and I would sweat and cry and vow to never do it again. And finally, when Cooper was 1 1/2 or so I stopped. We stopped going to restaurants and events and whatever other places people go to. There is a…

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I Saw the Future

Our family spent the night at a water park on Sunday. Cooper comes alive in the water. It is the one and ONLY activity that he enjoys more than watching his movies. He puts his life jacket on and bobs around and swims. It’s pretty dang cute. And he is so independent in the water. That is wonderful to see. Usually I am the one talking about autism with people. So I was surprised when we sat down in the hot tub and I heard a women talking with Jamie…

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Fish Oil and Apraxia. Does it Work?

Morning all, I wanted to do a quick post on Fish Oil and Apraxia. I get quite a few emails about the brand and dosage that I give Cooper. Cooper hasn’t been diagnosed with Apraxia as of March 2014 but he does have ‘some’ of the symptoms and I feel that giving him Fish Oil can only help his overall well being. Apraxia, or Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS)is a developmental disorder that affects the ability to say sounds, syllables and words. Children with Apraxia often display problems with coordination,…

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