A Letter to Myself, an Autism Mommy

Dear Me,  I’m sorry I never think you do enough.  You go to bed exhausted.  Sleep restlessly throughout the night.  In between the 3 A.M.  googling and night awakenings from you child, you still dream.  I’m sorry you still dream. It’s never the exact dream, but that pain in your heart feels the exact same.  Your nonverbal child said, “Mom…” “…I love you…” “…I’m good.” Or worse, your child has a whole conversation with you, as if their voice has always been there. Then your tired eyes open. You try to…

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