With Goally, The Goal is Independence

When my son was diagnosed with autism at age three, I will admit I didn’t know a lot about it. I was told a lot of things of course and many of them weren’t positive. But that didn’t stop us from believing in him and his success. Cooper is now ten years old and truly an amazing kid. As he’s gotten older, and the teenage years are not far off, our goals for him have shifted. Where it used to be a lot of academic things, now our goals for…

Read More

Keep Working on Independence

See that little one there? The one with chocolate on his face and holding two nerf guns? He is 2 years old and came out of the womb independent. His favorite thing to say is…‘I do it mama. I do it.’ He needs help from no one. My now 8 year old was the same way. Cooper, who was diagnosed with autism at age 3, was always the opposite. He’s never, to this day, had any desire to ‘do it himself.’ He’s very happy and content having mom and dad…

Read More

Independence

I just had a huge mom win. I successfully bathed all three of these little monsters in the shower. Cooper first. Then Sawyer and the baby. There was so much water. So. Much. Water. It was on the walls, the ceiling, and puddled on the floor. We used 4 towels. There was an incident with a shampoo bottle and a glass of water. Boys I tell you. But all three are bathed and dressed in jammies. I feel like I moved to expert level parenting. Showering is a big deal.…

Read More

The First Ride

Two weeks ago, this kid asked me to ride the bus. Sorta out of the blue. He verbalized it…’H-U-SSS.’ (B’s are hard for him.) He showed me busses on YouTube. He showed me busses in books. He pointed them out in the community. And me, being the mom I am, smiled, cheered, and thought…no way. I’m too scared. He’s too vulnerable. I can’t do it. Nope. But his dad, well he reminded me how I preach about independence. Nonstop. I want my son to make his own choices. I want…

Read More

Achieving Independence

I believe in honesty, transparency, and reality. So, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared about providing lifelong care to my son. And there are times when that fear can consume me. It will eat me up at 3 am if I let it. But I’m working on it. I’m working on managing my fears and worries. And I’m working even harder on teaching my son all that I can to help him achieve his greatest level of independence. I push. I pull. I teach. I hope.…

Read More

The Goal is Independence

Why do parents like me care so much about therapy? I’ve read some crazy reasons as to why. I’ve heard we are tying to make our kids not autistic. That ones bizarre. I’ve heard we are trying to change them. Suppress them. Even torture them. Equally ridiculous. None of those are true. Not for me at least. I take my son to therapy, day after day, when I should be working or watching my other son play hockey or cleaning my house, for one simple reason. I fight for insurance…

Read More

The Goal is Independence

The other day I was talking about the future with another mama. We were new acquaintances, brought together by one common thread. Autism. Our sons were the same age. 9. Both similar. Ridiculously handsome, silly, very few words but still quite opinionated, and both very much in love with their mamas. We were talking about the beginning. Making jokes about the hard parts. Tearing up over the almost unbelievably hard parts. Then the middle part that we are in right now. The part where the pieces finally began to fall…

Read More

My Hidden Grief

So, yesterday was a low point in the life of a mom. For those of you with typical kids, take pause, and stop for a minute to read this. I promise you, by the end of this, you will be more thankful for having healthy children. Let me first preface this by saying, I don’t journal. I don’t have a diary, and I don’t write about my journey everyday. I don’t blog, though, I have thought about it. This is my only outlet to let go and process when my…

Read More

Autism is Messy – The Cost of Independence

In these two photos, the photo on the left is a photo of the chair cushion where our autistic kid sits for his meals. The picture doesn’t come remotely close to showing the extent of the abuse this chair has taken. To give you a comparison, the photo on the right is another chair at the same table where others in the family sit. Yes. The two chairs are from the same set. And yes. The damage is clearly permanent. Our boy is thankfully a pretty good eater (praise God…

Read More

What if you Didn’t Need Me Anymore?

My son, So many changes are happening at our house right now. Your brother is starting kindergarten in three days. You are getting a new brother in five weeks. We are still settling into our new house. And yet, with you and I, nothing has changed. We are still inseparable. I am still your person. I’ve spent time today thinking about my role as your mama. And your brothers. Sawyer is five going on fifteen. He is social. He has so many friends. Many whom ring our doorbell daily. I…

Read More