Posts Tagged ‘autism’
What if he has Autism Mama
You were sitting on the living room floor trying to build a tower with your Legos. At six years old you looked like a teenager sitting there. Your baby face is completely gone. Your legs are getting long. Your hair so blonde and eyes so brown. The baby was all over you. On your legs. In your lap. Pulling at your toys. You kept rotating away from him. But he was onto you. You moved. He moved. I hear you yell, ‘Harbor! You wild baby!’ I looked up and you…
Read MoreBeing A Special Needs Parent Isn’t Something to Fear
I overheard two expectant mamas talking in a Chick-fil-A play area. They sat together on one bench, while their 3-4 year old boys played together, and they each were expecting a boy. I watched my own two boys play with these soon to be big brothers. These mamas chatted about pregnancy woes and pediatricians. And then the conversation took an unexpected turn. One of the mamas confessed that she’s constantly having fears that something will go wrong with the baby. It even keeps her up at night. What if her…
Read MoreWhy do I have to be ‘That Mom’
Why is it so hard to get services for our kiddos? Why do I feel that I am the only one who sees him? The real him. The fun, silly and loving him. Why do I have to annoy the school constantly….reminding them of who he is and how amazing he is? 4 weeks into school and every week (sometimes daily) it’s been something. He is not mean or aggressive….he is autistic and preverbal. He doesn’t understand what THEY want. He can’t communicate what HE wants. I’m saying what I…
Read MoreRegret, Remorse, Repentance
Every trip to the store ends the same way – with my son screaming and flailing on the floor. It is inevitable and without fail. It doesn’t matter what kind of distractions I use, what type of approach or discipline, he is a ticking time bomb, and within 15 to 20 minutes I will need to leave. It makes it impossible to finish any type of trip to the store or anywhere else really. I would be completely mortified when he screamed, eventually leaving the store in desperation with a…
Read MoreWhat if you have a Child with Special Needs?
We were married in the Lutheran faith and had to give up our precious weekend to attend a weekend of pre-marital counseling sessions. It was long and seemed completely unnecessary because we were madly in love. The class was centered on ‘deep’ questions that prompted discussion between couples. How would you handle a partner with an addiction? Or a partner that lies? A partner who gambles? We obviously didn’t have those problems since we were best friends so we breezed through. Oh the arrogance of twenty-something kids. Jamie and I…
Read MoreWe Don’t Take Kids With Autism
So something really weird happened the other day… I called a dentist to schedule an appointment for my son and the conversation went like this… Me: “Hi my name’s Amber and I was wondering if I could schedule an initial consult for my son? He’s 5 years old and I should mention he has autism.” Receptionist: “We don’t take kids with autism.” Me: “ummmmmmm….what do you mean you don’t take kids with autism?” Receptionist: “Cause of their autism medicine, we don’t deal with that here.” Me: “Ummmmmm… What’s autism medicine?” Receptionist: “The…
Read MoreMy Son, Please Choose a Partner who will Love your Brother
Sawyer, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being mine. For being here. For growing up. For keeping me firmly grounded in reality. For being easy. And simple. And letting autism be in control when it needs to be. Thank you for asking me questions. And telling me stories. For playing sports. And having playdates and birthday parties. Thank you for giving me all the milestones and memories that a mother dreams of. But mostly, thank you for being you. I want to tell you a few things.…
Read MoreA Letter to the Siblings of Kids with Special Needs
My son said to me today, “ I want home to be fun”. So, I wrote both of my boys a letter. It’s long, but my heart was heavy. A letter to my boys ( and other siblings) of newly diagnosed kids with special needs: No one told you your path in this world would take a sudden turn. It would get bumpy and rocky and sometimes you’d be hanging on for dear life to the edge of mom’s last ounce of patience before it would straighten out for a…
Read MoreThank You to the People who Love Kids Like Mine
I recently found out I had a challenging kid. Now I say that with a smile on my face and the love of a mother. I mean, I knew. Of course I knew. My son is nonverbal with severe autism. He is also a big kid. We’ve had our challenges. Our ups and downs. But I guess I didn’t know just how challenging he could be, and often is, every day. And I know why. Home is his safe space. We don’t challenge him at home like they do in…
Read MoreHello 3 AM, We Meet Again
Hello 3 am. We meet again. I can’t remember the last time I slept fully and peacefully without seeing you and getting stuck here in these lonely early hours, while the rest of the world sleeps. I’m not sure what wakes me, maybe it’s a dream. Or maybe my brain is just more active at this time of the morning, when everyone else is still sleeping and the quiet space gives me time for the anxieties and worries to creep in. I am blessed with a good sleeper. My almost…
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