Posts Tagged ‘autism parenting’
Tearing Down the Walls
I read a quote a while back that told older moms to be the friend they needed when they were younger. I think about it often in relation to my kids. My son Cooper is 10. He was diagnosed with autism 8 years ago. And later severe and nonverbal and a whole lot of other words were thrown into the mix. And overnight our world got a lot smaller. It seemed to shrink. It seemed to go on without us. And yet my son was exactly who he was born…
Read MoreThe Beginning of Our Autism Journey
When my first son Parker was born, he was a big baby with a ton of awesome hair. It was all I ever heard. People would say, “Look at all that hair!” I was one proud Dad! Not because of the hair, but because I always wanted to be a Dad! I was already starting to think about all the things we would do together. Play t-ball, pee wee football, soccer, basketball, hockey, go-karts, anything he wanted to do. He could grow up to be whoever he wanted to be,…
Read MoreTo the Medical Mama: I now Understand
How many times have I watched from a distance, mostly from behind a screen, as special needs parents spent weeks or even months in the hospital with their child, and I’ve thought, “gosh, that’s got to be hard.” I had a limited understanding of how difficult an ordeal like that could be because my 16 year old son Luke has been extremely healthy for many years; healthy until last year when we spent 6 weeks in ICU with him after his shunt malfunctioned and then became infected after a new…
Read MoreOur Kids are More Than Their Hard Moments
I had the absolute honor of sitting down and chatting with an amazing adult advocate last week to talk about her diagnosis, her challenges growing up, and her successes in adulthood. Midway through the interview she said something that resonated deeply with me. ‘Children and adults with disabilities are judged by their hardest days. Their hardest moments. That’s what the world talks about and remembers us by.’ How true is that? My son is 10 years old. When he was diagnosed with autism at age 3, and later as his…
Read MoreI Don’t Let the Hard Moments Steal My Joy Anymore
Back when I was new to mothering, and new to autism, and also new to challenges outside of my control, I would spend a lot of time wondering and worrying. Wondering why it was so hard and worrying that it would be hard forever. Maybe that’s wrong, I guess I don’t know. That was my path. The why’s would consume me if I let them. Just like the hard moments that accompanied a little boy who struggled in this world. I would dwell on them, long after they were over.…
Read MoreOn Our 10th World Autism Day, We Celebrate
Today is World Autism Day. This is our 10th one. As my son has gotten older, the meaning of the day has morphed for me. It used to be about education. Today, it’s about celebrating. Celebrating differences, celebrating progress, and celebrating a boy who has climbed far more mountains than I have. And ice cream and dancing. I have three boys. Three crazy, wild, busy, smart boys. Each of them is exactly who they are supposed to be. My oldest is autistic. There are a lot more words used to…
Read MoreI Can’t Imagine Being You
Each time I make a friend, I wonder how long that person will be able to bear the weight of my friendship. In those first moments conversing, I make predictions in my head: We’ll never be more than acquaintances. We’ll be friends for a few months until she figures out how hard it is to be my friend. We’ll be friends for years but she’ll never invite me to her house. (If I stop inviting her to my house, the friendship will end.) Some people offer well-meant platitudes: “Tell me…
Read MoreThe Biggest Gift
At the park last night, one of these boys played with boys his own age. He went up the slide and scaled the jungle gym like an acrobat. One of these boys chased after the older boys. They tickled him and he loved the attention. He went down the slide a hundred times and said…’mommy watch this!’ The other boy felt the mulch with his fingers, went down the slide twice because his mom asked him too, and spent the majority of his time tapping the metal garbage can and…
Read MoreSometimes She Teaches Me
My five year old was having a summer pandemic playdate complete with masks and social distancing. It had been a while since we had actually seen other people in-person outside of our immediate family. She was beaming for the first time in six months and was so excited to actually be able to play with a friend. Unlike me, she wasn’t nervous. She didn’t care about the mask. She wasn’t worried about maintaining six feet of distance. She was just so happy to get a piece of normal back. My…
Read MorePlease Teach Your Children About Diversity
Dear Mums, Dads and Caregivers, I want to ask you to do something. Can you look back and think if you’ve ever taught your children about diversity? About people’s differences…that not everyone’s the same? It can be race, disabilities, the homeless, religion and so much more. Have you had a conversation about how not everyone’s the same and how important it is to be accepting of that? When Lace was little, I worked in an accommodation house with adults with disabilities. I used to bring Lacey in and let her…
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