Posts Tagged ‘autism and nonverbal’
The Sweetest Boy
I don’t know a lot about other autistic children. Hell, I often feel like I have the only nonverbal autistic child in the world. Which I know can’t be true. But it sure feels that way. When I think about a child having a disorder that affects socialization and language my logical (or ignorant) side always assumed they wouldn’t be sweet. Or crave love and affection. But that is the opposite of Cooper. Cooper is so unbelievably sweet. This kid physically doesn’t know how to be mean. Or how to…
Read MoreWord Vomitting and Hating Yourself After
I said something really horrible about autism. And it wasn’t in the privacy of my own home after few glasses of wine like a good mother would do. It was a full blown word vomit in front of Cooper’s doctor. Sometimes I feel like I am the only mom in the world that has these thoughts. Or at least the only mom that shares them with the world. We brought Cooper to the doctor for his pre-op physical a few days ago. Per the usual Cooper tore that room apart. He gets in these…
Read MoreHaving the Only Autistic Kid at the Party
I want to tell you something I’ve learned. If you read my blog regularly you know that I talk mostly about my experiences raising an autistic child and how they make ME feel. I feel like I rarely ever give advice because I spend 95% of the time in survival mode. And autism is the biggest mystery in the world to me. But I try to help when I can. So I am pretty excited to say that I had an epiphany this weekend. I guess you could call it self growth.…
Read MoreMostly, Autism Is Just Lonely….
You can ask any autism parent about what it’s like to raise a little person with a big diagnosis. You will get many answers about what it’s like. And that’s because there are no two autistic people that are the same. And on top of that, I think parents acknowledge and accept it in different ways. For me autism is frustrating. And exhausting. And heartbreaking. And dreadfully hopeful. And painful. And above all a process. A slow process that crawls along with glimpses of the future. Autism is expensive. And SO…
Read MoreI Saw the Autism in My Son
Most days I don’t think about Autism. Not the word or the disorder or anything to do with it. Cooper is just Cooper and he is who he is. And that’s that. Dare I say I was getting cocky. I may even say I let my guard down. Since we did the move and put Coops in intensive therapy there are parts of him that seem almost healed. Or normal. Or whatever PC word I’m allowed to say. Zero meltdowns, good transitions, improved skills, etc. Still no words but great…
Read MoreRiding The Roller Coaster….
I got a call yesterday afternoon from Cooper’s school. It was a man asking me about our experience with Fraser. He said he didn’t have any specific questions and would like if I just spoke freely about our experiences. I told him an overview of our story and that we loved Fraser. It has changed our lives. He was the sweetest man and said he was at a loss for words at the love we have Cooper. He then went onto tell me that his autistic nephew is 11 and…
Read MoreWhy is that Little Boy so Sad?
I brought Super Cooper to school today because the bus system can’t seem to get their shit together. Which is just awesome. But, the positive, I got an extra few minutes with Cooper. And something extraordinary happened. We were driving to school and I was rushed and going a million miles a minutes. The usual. I started to tell Cooper all about his day. Just like we had been doing since 6:30 am. I’m not sure if telling him about his day helps but we do it anyways. So, I…
Read MoreWhat If This Is It?
I’ve been really, really off lately. Irritable. Crabby. Most definitely not happy. I’ve even noticed that I am avoiding Cooper a little bit. It started after his birthday party on the 6th. That was a tough one. We changed our whole lives for Cooper. Every single thing is different now. And that’s fine. I have zero regrets. And every month we are told by Cooper’s therapists how amazing he is doing. Thriving they say. Better every single week. Amazing eye contact. Such a sweet boy. So engaged. Just a joy.…
Read MoreThe Inability To 'Just Be'
I think a lot about the hardest parts of autism…or Cooper’s autism I guess. There are days when I think the whining is the worst. Or his eating habits. Or the throwing. It can vary and probably has a lot to do with how tired I am or worn down at that moment. Some days I can take on anything. I am a rock. And some days I feel like I can’t take it anymore. There are days where I feel like I won’t survive fighting over another dinner. Cooper will…
Read MoreHe Likes School…I Think.
Cooper gets done with school at 4:30 M-F. I pick him up every day. I chose to do this because the thought of him being on a van in rush hour traffic with a stranger as a nonverbal autistic child actually put me in the fetal position on my bed. I can deal with him riding the bus ‘to’ school but not both. So, I pick him up. I usually get there about 4:10 because there are 7 parking spots for 100 people. Ok, I am exaggerating a bit but not by much. The…
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