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Super Cooper is Growing Up
I’ve spent the last few weeks feeling sorry for myself and for our situation. To put a date on it I have been struggling since Easter. I think it’s all so real now. Most likely because of all the evaluations. They are so brutal. And, of course, I know a label/diagnosis is coming and I can’t run anymore. But, it’s time to dig out of this funk. I am ready. I will throw this kid on my back and climb up a damn mountain if I have too. Being sad doesn’t get you anywhere. And…
Read MoreThe Inability to Just Try
There is such a huge difference between ‘can’t’ and ‘won’t.’ Basically trying and failing or refusing to try at all. Cooper refuses to try and it makes me freaking insane. As a parent it is heartbreaking to see your child try and fail. And trust me, I know this firsthand. It seems like every week we are doing one or two evaluations and I watch as cooper fails it all. And then add in the fact that his 15 month old brother is toddling along side him doing it all.…
Read MoreRunning From Your Problems
I can think of a dozen times throughout this journey where I have considered taking my family and moving away. I fantasized that we would buy a cabin on a lake somewhere. Jamie and I would both work from home and we would raise the kids the way we wanted too. I would even homeschool the boys. Doing this seemed so right. Probably because the parent of a special needs child lives in constant Fight or Flight mode. I guess what I am really trying to say is that I fantasize about…
Read MoreMe Too. Such a Simple Thing To Say.
I saw this today. LOVE.
Read MoreFaith Is Easy To Have Until It's Tested
I wouldn’t consider myself to be a super religious person. I firmly believe in God and that he touches everything. Heck, I pray to God every single day and I have turned to God during especially hard times in my life. But there is something I need to get off of my chest. Faith is a funny thing. It is so easy to have Faith until it is actually put to the test. It is so easy to tell someone to trust in God’s plan. But when you are devastated and your…
Read MoreOPEN LETTER TO COOPER'S MOM (AND OTHERS WHO NEED TO HEAR THIS)
Just when I start to feel so alone and so lost on this journey, a person I have never even met in real life writes something so beautiful and gives me hope. “You are NOT alone. WE are not alone,” she writes. Thank you fellow mama for this post. Thank you for being here for me on my darkest days!
Read MoreI Don't Want To Be Super Mom Today
I was told at the beginning of this process (or maybe it was the middle) that I wasn’t taking the help that was available to me for Cooper. This was said to me by someone pretty close in our lives. She went onto tell me that I was living in denial and I wasn’t get Cooper the help that he needed. When she said this to me it was like one of those slow motion moments where time stops. I could practically see the words hanging in the air. I remember looking at her…
Read MoreWay To Go Cooper, You Broke Mom.
Ever since Cooper was 1 or so I realized that he doesn’t understand holidays. Or presents. And he doesn’t care about food so that part is out. He’s afraid of seeing Santa or the Easter Bunny so that is out too. And he hates activities so there is no dying Easter eggs or carving pumpkins. I can get him dressed up in a cute outfit but he won’t sit still for a picture. Yesterday was awful for me. It was the worst holiday I have ever had. Honestly, I am…
Read MoreEvaluation One of Eight is in the Books
We had Cooper’s 1st evaluation of 8 yesterday for the school district. Of course, during a blizzard. What else is new? These 8 evaluations are required to determine if he is eligible for a free spot in a developmental preschool through the school district. Yes, please! At the time of the evaluation I had been awake for 28 hours straight. My dear friend had her baby and I got to be in the delivery room with her. If you want to talk Super Mom than you need to meet…
Read MoreThe Right Side of Age 4
Lately, I have been getting involved with a lot with other Apraxia moms both through Facebook and blogs. I have seen an increase in questions having to do with kids being nonverbal for their whole lives. I know I’ve mentioned on here before that one of the hardest moments of my life was when I realized that some kids don’t talk. Click HERE to read that post. Cooper has always been so vocal and so loud it never crossed my mind that he wouldn’t talk. When I learned that nonverbal was a…
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