Posts

You Are Stronger Than You Think

December 14, 2023

I don’t know how you do it… Last night I shared a video on Instagram of my autistic son ripping paper and books. It’s a new behavior. It’s really loud. And messy. I shared it for a glimpse into the beauty and reality of our world. I could tell you why he does it. He wants to have all the pieces of the magazines and books in his hands. He’s a sensory seeker. He likes to see and touch. To spread the pages out. To line them up. It makes…

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The Way He Brothers

December 13, 2023

I was rushing to get out of the house. Helping Cooper with his shoes and wrestling the baby into her jacket. Only she’s in that…‘I do it myself mama’ phase. I filled water bottles and packed a bag and grabbed snacks. Made sure kids had hats and gloves and Cooper had his speech device and that I looked halfway presentable. You know, doing all of the things. Cooper, my oldest, who is autistic, was nonverbally letting me know that he was going to bring all hundred of his treasures. Sawyer,…

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Every Day is a Party: Celebrating the Simple Joys with Cooper

December 12, 2023

There is a quote that says, ‘don’t ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day your alive is a special occasion.’ My son Cooper reminds me of that quote every single day. The reason I’m sharing it with you is because someone recently commented on one of my posts, pointing out that we always have balloons in our house. And it’s true, they are everywhere. They drift through the house, from room to room. Birthday balloons. Dora balloons. Square. Round. All brightly colored. Some old. Some new. Why? Because…

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My Nonverbal Teen’s Birthday Tale

December 6, 2023

Nonverbal communication is a pretty amazing thing really. My son Cooper, the one in the middle, he communicates mostly with sounds: Think grunts and squeals and gasps. He points a lot. And brings things to us and brings us to things. He places his hands on ours and guides them in certain ways. He touches our lips and uses his hands to turn our faces to see things. He uses his iPad to show us pictures or videos of things he wants to tell us about. He does some typing.…

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A Brother. An Advocate. A Helper.

December 4, 2023

Recently we ventured to the store for a few things. Eggs. Milk. Nerf gun bullets. And 2 pieces of paper. The essentials. Obviously. Outings as a family are still relatively new for us. And while they are far from perfect, they are real. See, we have a kid who is just learning about waiting and buying and walking and all the parts of the world. While our son Cooper is making amazing progress at stores and by amazing, I mean huge leaps and bounds…so much of it is still hard…

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Birthday Countdown: Communication Without Words

December 3, 2023

My son Cooper is nonspeaking. I know that’s a confusing classification. I even sometimes struggle to explain it. See when it comes to autism, and the spectrum you hear about, the waters are often muddy. He said his first word at age 8. It was mom. Now he says it no less than 50 times a day. But he couldn’t tell you his name under pressure or if he is in pain. He can’t use the phone but he can type the name of his favorite movie into YouTube. He…

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Nonspeaking Son Says ‘Balloon’ for the First Time

December 1, 2023

My son said the word balloon this morning. I didn’t catch it right away. I was packing his lunch and putting toothpaste on a toothbrush while simultaneously signing a form for his school. It was a chaotic morning to say the least. That’s when he said it the second time. BA – LL – OOOOO – N Now a 12 year old boy saying the word balloon probably doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. But it is. It’s huge. My son was diagnosed with nonspeaking autism at age…

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Autism Beyond Standardized Measures

November 30, 2023

Dear Standardized School Questionnaires, I could go on and on about how frustrated and sad I feel when I have to fit my child into all these boxes that he does not fit into. I could elaborate on how this questionnaire is unproductive in describing my son. Instead, I’ll tell you what you’re missing when we check “never” on many of the countless boxes. He may not be able to write the alphabet, but he knows and recognizes all of his letters. He even recognizes sight words—perhaps more than that.…

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An Unexpected Reminder That’s It’s Going to Be Okay

November 29, 2023

I think sometimes we end up exactly where we are supposed to be. Maybe even just for a moment. Today, as Cooper’s mom, the world had something to show me. This morning we brought our younger son to see Beauty and the Beast. And I’ll tell you, when you have four kids, it can be a bit tricky to make one on one time work. Like moving mountains honestly. But we made it happen. As we sat waiting for the show to start, I noticed the group sitting down behind…

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Why Can I Show Empathy to Others but Not My Mom

November 28, 2023

I went into quite an uproar. I was not thinking about the person who had been up since five-thirty in the morning and couldn’t sleep. I only thought about myself, my needs, and how I didn’t want to do my homework. You see, due to my autism, I am incredibly literal, and that can make some school work harder for me to interpret now that I am climbing the ladder of my college-level classes. I felt insecure and inadequate but I didn’t know these were my feelings. All I knew…

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