I was looking through pictures on my phone the other day and came across a picture that caused me to pause. The special picture is of Brian with his cute cousins Lilly and Leah. Brian, Lilly and Leah were born within the same year of each other. They live in the same community, attend the same schools and share the same last name. Life’s big moments I remember thinking how fun this could be as the kids grew older. I envisioned them having mutual friends, attending the same gatherings and…
I get to see and hear the world through his eyes. We dance to our reflections in windows. We twirl to music. We lay on the ground just to feel the carpet on our cheeks. We laugh at a sneeze or a hiccup. Over and over again. We make funny noises. We run. We roll. We don’t care what anyone thinks. We laugh. Only his laugh is way better than mine. It’s the best noise I have ever heard. Deep from the belly. We eat cupcakes. But only the frosting.…
Hearts have always been my son’s favorite shape. Because of his autism and limited verbal skills, in all of his five years on earth he hasn’t told me this, I just know. He is drawn to them. He likes to build them by putting other shapes together and points them out whenever he comes across one. This makes perfect sense, with him being the sweetest little guy I know. Sweet, and a little spicy, too. He is often in his own world, one that we are constantly working to understand,…
Yes – I said it. Regressions sucks. Seeing my son who works so hard everyday lose skills and gain more anxiety is one of the most difficult aspects of this journey. He works so hard for each and every skill he has and to see one of them disappear is heart wrenching. We are currently in the mist of regression. When Jayden gets into a regression it seems to last months and it takes nearly everything inside of us to bring him out of it. Luckily each time his team…
I absolutely love being a boy mom. Race cars, dirt, and ornery smiles. I had just found out we were pregnant that week with our second blessing. We were sitting on the couch after my oldest sons evaluation awaiting to hear the words I already knew were coming. “You’re son is on the spectrum”. My sweet toddler. Laying on the floor with a car on top of his chest. Spinning the wheels. Months later we find out the baby is a boy. Our second boy. Spinning car wheels flash in…
‘I think it’s terrible that you go places without Cooper all the time. I think you are awful, awful parents. And you are teaching your other children that Cooper doesn’t matter. Shame on you.’ -An excerpt of a recent email from a super fan. Very little amazes me on this blogging journey anymore. Even an email like this one. But what does amaze me is how people still don’t understand the agonizing decisions that special needs parents have to make every day. And that even though we make the tough…
Raising two girls with autism has made me stronger than I ever imagined I could be. I have found strength at my low points that looking back feels like someone else. The rare times when I allow myself to think about why my husband and I “chosen” for this life, I’m not sure it was because we were particularly strong before autism. We were young, invincible, and soul mates from the start. We were together for 4 years before our fairy tale wedding and knew we wanted to start a…
While at a recent doctor appointment I was chatting with a young, pregnant woman. I congratulated her and asked her if she knew the sex of the baby. She said she didn’t know and didn’t have a preference, “as long as the baby is healthy.” I smiled and nodded but inside I thought about how this phrase has a new meaning to me since my daughter’s autism diagnosis seven years ago. When someone uses that phrase, I feel sadness in my heart. I think to myself, will she accept and…
When a child is diagnosed with autism, it can feel like the whole world is collapsing. I should know — I felt that way in 1999 when my son, Lucas, was diagnosed with moderate-to-severe autism just before his third birthday. My younger son, Spencer, was 18 months old and all the dreams I had of them growing up and being best friends disappeared. It makes me sad to think of how devastated and disappointed I felt in those early days, and I wish I could go back and give myself…
I’ve prayed for peace a lot. When you have anxiety, you learn how to manage it and be more calm. Prayer is my favorite and most regularly used tool. If you’re a mom of a child with autism, I will pray for your peace too. When I pray, I usually spend a lot of time in gratitude. It’s hard to worry about anything when you are being thankful for the present. If you’re in conflict with anything or anyone, you can’t be at peace. Anger is not a peaceful place…
