They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but what exactly are those words? What’s the worth of something that’s carefully curated, filtered, and posed? I’ll tell you. I’m a recovering pretend-post addict, after all. Our most recent family photos were met with many words of praise: “Your children are beautiful!” “You look so gorgeous!” And the most gutting: “You have the perfect family.” No one could’ve known I was reading those comments with a pit in my throat, probably from the comfort of my bed, the one I…
Today is Sawyer’s seventh birthday. Which is a really big deal. But honestly, what he said to me this afternoon makes it even more special. We had arrived at Cooper’s school to pick him up for the day. It was Jamie, Sawyer, the baby and I. Cooper came running out. All excited. His therapist said we have something to say to Sawyer. Cooper was jumping up and down and clumsily pushed a button on his speech device. ‘Happy Birthday!’ the automated voice said. Then he giggled and clapped. ‘Thanks buddy’…
Dear Mom, I know raising my brother, who has a disability, takes a toll on you in more ways than one could imagine. Being your child without the disability, I know you struggled with if you were doing right by me. If your time devoted to my brother, affected me in a way that judged you as an inadequate mother. How do I know you struggled with these roller coaster of emotions? How do I know it was hard for you to manage being both my brother’s caretaker and a…
Hey everybody! My name is Liz. I’m 26 years old and I have autism. Imagine being trapped in a maze, mouth duct taped and unable to talk. Each step in your life feels like you are living in a video game and you have to pass levels to eventually find your voice. This has been my experience since I was diagnosed with autism at age two. Many of my developmental skills were delayed. I didn’t speak until I was six and I wasn’t potty trained until age eight. At birth…
Dear fellow momma at my sons therapy center, Today, you may have heard my oldest ask, “who’s that yelling?” I thought we covered autism, but I was so focused on explaining her brother’s autism, I forgot to go into detail about the whole spectrum. I took this as a teaching moment, but you weren’t in the car with us. There’s no way you would know this. My daughter is the sweetest, most compassionate kid I know. She’s also naturally very curious. Her question stemmed from curiosity. But we talked about…
We walked into our favorite Thai restaurant to pick up our carry-out order when my 7-year-old son James began greeting all of the customers. “Hi,” he said with a huge smile to each person we passed. For the last several months, James, who was diagnosed with autism at two, has developed a love for meeting new people and learning their names. For a while he would just point at people and say, “Who’s that?” So, with our team of ABA therapists, we have been teaching him to introduce himself. I…
If my sister was a teenager in today’s world of social media, she would be dead. I have no doubt about it. It was a miracle that she survived as it was, but had facebook, instagram, snap chat and tiktok been around then, I honestly do not think she would be here today. I absolutely hate the impact social media has on our teens today. My niece is 15 and we have already found her in situations she had no intentions of being in. And she has already found herself…
Cooper has always communicated by touching faces. I like to believe it’s a nonverbal thing. And a Cooper thing. In my mind it’s a way to feel someone’s emotions when it’s hard to understand the words. Or facial expressions. It’s a way to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I am mad’ when the words can’t come out. It’s a way to get someone’s attention too. If Cooper really likes you, he will touch your face. This morning, and every single morning for the last six years, he has woke me…
Sometimes I stand before people and I say stuff and then they ask me questions. How do you keep you marriage together with the stress of raising a child with autism? How can I get my son to stop biting/hitting/screaming/chewing/running? How is it you are so stunningly beautiful and well-dressed? Actually, I’ve never been asked that last question. I admit this to you in the spirit of full disclosure. When my son Jack was a little guy, throwing enormous fits and staying up all night and generally wreaking havoc on…
I have a son. Three actually. They are all very different. My oldest is 9 years old. His name is Cooper. He was Cooper from the second I found out I was pregnant. There was no other name. Although we don’t really call him that anymore. We call him Snoopy. And Snoops. And Snoopy Joy. And sometimes even ‘turn it down.’ He is the most complicated, easiest, and interesting person I know. He doesn’t say much. But yet never, ever stops making noise. He moves really fast sometimes. And other…
