How We Show Love In Our House
Cooper has always communicated by touching faces.
I like to believe it’s a nonverbal thing. And a Cooper thing.
In my mind it’s a way to feel someone’s emotions when it’s hard to understand the words. Or facial expressions.
It’s a way to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I am mad’ when the words can’t come out.
It’s a way to get someone’s attention too.
If Cooper really likes you, he will touch your face.
This morning, and every single morning for the last six years, he has woke me up by touching my face.
When he wants to tell me he loves me he will use his hand to cup my cheek.
When he needs me to slow down, or listen, he will use both hands to hold my face.
During my hardest autism parenting moment, one I don’t share all that often, he used his finger to push my tears back into my eyes.
And when he’s frustrated with his baby brother for messing with his puzzles or taking his treasures, he will put his hand on baby brother’s head.
He will not hurt him. He never has.
But he will let him know he’s not happy with him.
Harbor smiles. Every time.
He doesn’t understand he is getting scolded.
He just knows he’s getting attention. From his big brother.
The one who is always around him but yet keeps to himself.
The other day the baby was dancing around the waiting room at the pediatrician’s office, flirting with little girls and charming nurses.
He was being Harbor. My social butterfly with no fear.
He walked up to a little girl, one with pigtails and boots that lit up, and gently touched her head. Then touched his own. Then hers again. Then his own.
The little girl didn’t understand. She ran off.
The mom smiled, laughed and asked what he was doing.
I told her, he’s showing love like his brother. He has autism. And that’s how it’s done in our house.
Don’t be afraid of other forms of communication. You can show love without words. Amazing love.
I think sometimes we lose that as we grow up. The ability to believe in a touch or a smile or the beauty in being different.
These two get it.
Just watch them for a while. It’s pretty great.
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