I’m feeling conflicted and heartbroken for my autistic son’s future. As I’m getting dressed for work today, I noticed my sixteen year old son, Lawrence looking at all the headlines and stories in the news… My son then makes the comment, ‘I dislike cops.’ Wow. Talk about a feeling of confusion as I’m now wearing my uniform. I am a Corrections Office and a Field Training Officer. I’m also a single mom, doing my best to raise a developmentally disabled son that has huge communication issues. He is not aggressive. He…
Let me tell you something about an Autism Mama. Her brain never stops—not for one single second. All day long, it circles and loops and worries and wonders. It is a flow chart of appointments, and therapies, and specialists, and schedules. A veritable melting pot of hypothesis, and hope—optimism, and sorrow. It moves very, very quickly, this brain of hers. Like a bird alighting upon sunlit branches, it moves from one thought or idea to another. Dinner. The latest research about gluten-free diets. How to stop him from chewing his…
There was a time our life changed. We went from ‘typical parents’ to special needs parents. Although I still don’t see the differences. We have a different struggle, but we are still parents. Autism crept into our lives and changed the way we used our voice, while we were fighting for other kids. It sneaked into ours and asked us to use our voice for our own children. Our son was the first to be diagnosed…never did we think we would take the same road twice. I think I grieved…
One of the most unreasonable, exhausting, and heartbreaking sides of autism is anxiety. Sometimes it falls under the ever-broadening umbrella that is Autism Spectrum Disorders, and sometimes you face anxiety as one of many comorbid diagnoses. In our world, anxiety is the fierce sidekick to autism. It’s the root of things like self-injury, aggression, and property destruction. It is also the thief of time. Anxiety is the reason you will not find our family in line for a ride at Disneyland, a photo with Santa, or even a burger and…
My son Johnny was almost five years old when he was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. That was almost one year ago. Although we were told by experts they were unsure, I could have pushed to have him diagnosed sooner. To be completely honest, I think I was afraid of the label. I did not want people to hear he was autistic and assume so many preconceived ideas about him. I did not want them to expect the worst from him, or love him less. I worried teachers would dislike…
I spent an intense morning with my son Luke at the eye doctor. Honestly, we’ve been frequenting doctor’s offices most days. Yesterday was PT for Ryan my husband, today, eye doctor for Luke, tomorrow and Friday PT for Ryan, Saturday, family doctor for a new wheelchair for Luke… This is life for special needs families. I made this appointment months ago…before Ryan had committed to his new surgery date in Feb…before when the original date was Jan 6 but then Luke was still in PICU and so we rearranged our…
I must finally admit to myself and the world that I’m tired. Physically and mentally exhausted. For the last 15 years of my 17-year-old son’s life, autism has dictated the mood, comfort, décor (or lack thereof) and decibel level of our home. Severe, non-verbal autism has robbed my son of the ability to communicate effectively or calmly and replaced it with banging, hitting, throwing and aggression. It’s as if my son’s development has frozen in time…demonstrating behaviors matching a two-year-old temper tantrum. No matter the circumstance, he has learned…
In my life, over the years, there have been a few things that have taken my breath away. The day I kissed my husband and committed my life to him as his wife…that kiss took my breath away. The night I found out I was going to be a mommy for the first time. The world stopped spinning and for a split second I stopped breathing. My daughter had a febrile seizure on top of me when she was 16 months old and I held my breath while my husband…
Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son has autism. His name is Jack. I’ve come to think of autism as a kind of symphony, if you will. There are loud cymbals, and a quiet tympani. Sometimes, there is a melody, but more often than not, it sounds like chaos. Jack hates fire drills. He always has. For much of his life, he has lived in fear of them. When he was six, he would come off the bus and say the same phrase over…
Who needs some joy today? This kid had his first school conference in three years yesterday. He’s a big fourth grader now. And like I’ve known all along…he’s amazing. He’s joyful. Happy. Cuddly. Loves giving hugs. So smart. He knows so many sight words and is amazing on his speech device. The goal for me is typing words. I can’t wait until we can have a typed conversation. His bus driver and aide love him. His driver told me he hits the bumps for him because it makes him so…
