Will I Ever Grow Out Of Autism, Or Will Society Allow Me To Grow?
Sometimes I wondered if I would ever get better or outgrow autism as I grew older.
I really knew I could never outgrow autism, especially when I got older.
However, the older you get the more you realize you know how to deal with stuff better without having an anxiety rush.
It’s more about the acceptance.
When you get older you know things will change as our body is always changing.
Like, when I was younger, I ate meat. Now as an adult I hardly do. No idea why, I just don’t.
When I was young, I was okay with loud noises. Now as an adult I hate loud noises and I bring ear defenders when I go out to big crowded places.
Being an adult with autism means that things can change and some things stay the same.
That does not stop me from moving forward and enjoying life.
Most of the time society isn’t always built for autistic people and some things are much harder to achieve.
Something I am struggling with at the moment is getting more support in math and english in college. That’s the biggest hurdle, especially being an adult, as people forget that we don’t grow out of autism once we hit 18.
Some people just don’t take us seriously enough or even brush it off as being an adult. As an adult you’re meant to do things independently. You should achieve the pass grades at school without having to redo them. The services don’t support those who are adults as they only do teenagers or children.
Do I wish to outgrow autism?
Part of me says yes. I don’t want to have these big hurdles to get the support. I need to prove to them that I am autistic and I need help.
And part of me says no. I prefer to be me, and without it I would be stuck.
That’s the thing with autism you have to be a lot more determined to fight these services for support and not give up and that’s what I am. Determined.
Part of me also knows how hard and how long it took to get the diagnosis, so that’s why I know that I am determined and some things I can get better at.
Like socializing with the right group of friends. Which I have made and so far they have been so supportive and just a fantastic group to hang out with.
Also, being able to get myself two jobs. I have to keep being determined to prove that I have so much experience. Prove to them that autism cannot, and will not, stop me from achieving.
I am also getting better at knowing what my triggers are. Whether it’s being overtired or knowing what causes my anxiety and having strategies put into place when it gets too much.
The goal is really to understand me better and know things can be changed.
