Five Things to Offer a Special Needs Mom Who’s Struggling
You see the posts, you hear the stories, but you don’t always know how to help….. You don’t have a child with special needs, but your friend or a family member does. You want to do something, but are unsure of where to start. Here are five ideas that have been life-changing for me.
1. Remind her that she’s doing a great job.
When she’s in the toughest times she’s doubting her self, she’s wondering if it’s her fault, if she will ever make it through. Reach out, remind her how amazing she is. Even if she doesn’t respond with anything except a heart emoji, know that you meant the world to her in that moment.
2. Drop off coffee.
Usually tough times and behaviors take place from the moment she wakes up until she’s lucky enough to lay her head down on the pillow late that night. She’s tired, she’s probably not leaving her house, and a caffeine pick me up could save her whole day.
3. Offer to take one of the kids for a few hours of respite.
I know how hard it is for someone to take my son who has autism, he’s an elopement risk, has behavior outburst and so on…..but his typical four year old sister would love a break from the chaos. Taking her to lunch, on a play date, for a walk, gives her a break from the hard when I may not be able to.
4. Deliver dinner so it’s one less thing she has to plan for and manage.
What’s for dinner in the middle of a meltdown? Great question. The last thing we are able to do is go into the next room to prep a meal because our child needs constant supervision. Sometimes we have great intentions but halfway through the prep we have to stop and work through a meltdown, not to mention the cleanup later sometimes has to wait until the next morning because we are too tired.
5. Offer to come over and help entertain the kids while she showers.
Taking ten minutes to shower can usually turn my entire day around. The freedom to wash away what’s happened so far, cry in the privacy of the shower, and have a fresh start for the rest of the day can usually take me from overwhelmed to centered. Never underestimate the power of a shower.
*Bonus- have your husband text her husband, spouses need support too
And please whatever you do, don’t tell her “let’s plan a girls night” we can hardly shower at this point let alone shave our legs and leave the house.
Check on your friends who are struggling through special needs parenting, we appreciate you more than you know.
I’m thankful to have ladies who love me through the hard, who help give me hope, and remind me we can do anything. I hope you all find these people too.
‘When the winds against you, remember this insight. That’s the optimal condition for birds to take flight.’
Written by, Amanda DeLuca
Amanda lives in Ohio with her husband and has two children, Monroe and Jackson. Her son is on the autism spectrum and is what inspired her to begin her journey through advocacy in the IEP process. In her free time, she enjoys teaching at her dance studio, co-hosting the Momming Autism Podcast, and writing for her page Jackson’s Journey, Jackson’s Voice.
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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
