Being a Mother is My Hobby

I googled hobbies at 3 AM this morning while nursing my newborn. She refused to sleep and I had time.

Then I googled hobbies for moms. Then hobbies near me.

Why you ask?

I guess I don’t have any. My husband and I had a rather heated conversation the other day about how life is eating us up right now and he let me know I don’t ever leave the house. And I don’t have hobbies.

It felt like a jab. It wasn’t supposed to be. He was telling me I need to take time for myself and instead I heard that I’m failing at yet another thing.

Because in that moment I couldn’t think of one reason worthy of leaving my house.

My initial reaction was to laugh. I have four kids and just had a baby. Dang right I don’t leave the house. And hobbies? With what time.

See he has lots.

Hunting. Fishing. Boating. Coaching. So many friends.

As we spoke I could feel my resentment towards him building. And it probably shouldn’t have because he wasn’t wrong. I have no hobbies.

I used too. I used to love reading and writing. And hiking and walking. I loved exploring new places. And decorating my home. I was always up for new things and getting dressed up.

But as I had babies, those parts of me started to fade away.

First becoming a mom. Having a baby who never slept. Then autism. Then therapy and worry. Then doctors. So many doctors for him. I lived in waiting rooms.

Then my second baby. More worry. Then sports and play dates. And a third and fourth. Two more little humans who needed me. Work. Covid. Home school. Writing a book. Being a wife.

It was as if pieces of me were disappearing. Or maybe just being used up. Like pieces of a pie divided up until there was nothing left of the original me.

Now I have no hobbies and I can’t tell you what I like to do. So crazy right? I am a good mom though. I think that matters for something. My hobbies are my kids right now.

My options near me are a pottery class or a Zumba class. Looks like both require pants and leaving the house. I’ll pass on those for now.

Today I’m choosing a nap. And a shower. I think that’s how I start finding myself.

Photo: Baby Wynnie and I meeting for the first time a few weeks ago. I was a goner.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.