How Much Does a Nonverbal Child Understand?

My son is amazing!

Keegan is 9 years old and in the 4th grade. He is silly, loving, funny, smart, energetic, creative and a genuinely happy child.

He also has autism and he’s nonverbal so things aren’t always easy. There are meltdowns and non typical behaviors and he can’t always express his feelings or wants.

Keegan uses a speech device to help him communicate. It has helped Keegan and our family so much! The speech device has changed our family for the better. It’s given my child a voice and he’s still learning new skills with it.

One of the things we’re trying to teach him is to use the device to tell us how he’s feeling, physically and emotionally. Most of time it is used for things he wants like a snack, a place he wants to go, mom, dad, and his brother Daniel.

I’ve always wondered what goes on in my sons head, what is he thinking, does he understand what’s going on?

This past May, his grandmother died.

We weren’t sure what to do as far as explaining her death to Keegan. We decided it was best to talk to him about what happened because it was his grandmother and we would be very emotional the next few weeks.

We didn’t want him to wonder, not knowing why he wouldn’t be seeing his grandmother anymore.

We explained to him what happened not knowing if he truly understood.

As weeks went by, Keegan started taking his grandmother’s picture with him to the table to color and play. He started looking through my phone for pictures of “Mommom”, would kiss her pictures and say “bye bye”, which is one of his few words.

This behavior started to dwindle down, but I believed he understood she was gone.

A few months later, I was straightening some of Keegan’s drawings that were scattered across the dining room table. I come across one that is obviously his grandmother’s living room.

In the drawing he has her hospital bed with her and himself on it, her coffee table, dream catcher on the wall, her two dogs, the closet door in the right spot and a diagonal line…that is where the staircase is.

This picture brought tears to his dad’s and my eyes.

Keegan drew this picture from memory with no help or guidance.

He hasn’t been in that house for a year, yet he is thinking of his grandmother and her home.

We don’t always know what our kids understand or take in, so be mindful around them. Talk to them, explain to them. They love, feel and remember too.

Just because they can’t always express or vocalize love and emotions, doesn’t mean they don’t feel them.

Written by, Felicia Villermaux

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