We Figured it Out

I don’t consider myself to be an expert in parenting. Or an expert in anything really.

I don’t always do the right thing or handle every bump in the road perfectly.

I didn’t fall gracefully into autism when my first born son was diagnosed at age 3. I more so crashed. Head first. With zero guidance.

They say help is readily available for families like mine. Let’s be clear here. It wasn’t.

We figured it all out on our own. Maybe it’s different now. I pray that it is. Because what we went through was awful. There is no other way to describe it.

We learned though. We educated ourselves. We fought. We cried. We demanded better for him. We kept pushing, sometimes crawling forward.

I say all this because there were days when I didn’t know if we would make it.

It felt like the world wasn’t made for our family. Or for our son. And like the only choice was to give up and live in isolation.

I longed for easy. I prayed for improvements. I hoped that we were doing the right things.

I tell you this because even though I am a glass half full, find the joy, kind of human, I spent some time in a sad place.

I am judged for it now. I could lie I suppose, but what good would that do.

Our hard years have defined us I think. Our scars are worn like armor.

We figured it out.

Well, we just left a friend’s house. We went as a family to go sledding and visit.

A year ago it wouldn’t have been an option. It would have been too hard. Too challenging. Our family would have had to split up. One staying home, one going with the other kids.

But we kept practicing. We practiced sitting, walking, trying, waiting, being in the community, being in someone’s home…you name it, we practiced it.

It’s paying off.

Cooper went down the sledding hill three times with his dad and the kids. He went on the swing set too. After he watched a movie. He went on his kindle. He made himself comfortable with a fuzzy blanket. He helped himself in their pantry. He drank from a different kind of cup.

We stayed for hours. He let us talk and be there.

He enjoyed himself.

One step at a time parents. Put one foot in front of the other and keep moving.

There are days when it will feel impossible but I promise you it will pay off.

And you will be able to sit and stand and talk like every other family. You will make it through.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.