We Are Not Our Bad Days

We had a tough morning over here.

The details don’t matter I guess but after I left him at school, I felt like I had run a marathon.

I felt a little bruised…my body, my heart and my ego.

I felt sad for him. I hate that he can’t communicate.

I felt confused as his mother, and even a little depleted.

I felt like I wasn’t enough.

Because I don’t have the answers. I don’t know why or even how to fix it.

I do my very best to always understand and be that voice of reason for him in this scary world.

But the truth is, I don’t always understand. And I don’t always know how to help or fix.

As I drove away, I felt that familiar nagging in my stomach.

The one that said…this could be bad. This could be the start of something. I need to stop it now. I need to fix it. I need to figure out why.

I felt myself sinking a bit because I have faced that mountain before. The one that we as parents climb alone.

But that was the old me.

That was the beginning of autism me. The one who was afraid and lost and a little bit desperate. I can admit that.

I used to get consumed by the hard. Because, well, it was just that. Hard.

I felt like I was drowning more than I was swimming.

I’m different now. I’ve learned so much about facing challenges. And being a mom.

My son is not his hard days. He is not his hard moments.

And I know that when my amazing son has a bad morning, that’s all it is…

A bad morning. A bad day. There may be one. There may be more.

Heck, we’ve even at 365 tough days in a row.

But those bad, tough, hard days do not define him as a person.

They don’t make up who he is. Or who I am as a mother.

They don’t make him less than. Or me either.

We are not our hardest days. None of us are.

I challenge you to try and remember that.

On your child’s hardest days, and yours too, remember that this does not define them or you.

But how you choose to face the hard does.

Dig in. Learn. Listen. Advocate. Get smarter. Get stronger. Never stop trying to figure out why. And how to help.

Tomorrow is a new day. And a whole new chance to make it better.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.