The Other Side of the Table
I am no stranger to the IEP process that’s for sure.
I just finished my 12th year as a special education teacher in a small town in the thumb of Michigan and I absolutely love my job.
I’ve known I wanted to be a special education teacher since my junior year of high school and I pride myself in always trying my absolute best to put the students first and try to create great relationships with my students’ parents.
I can’t tell you how many IEP meetings I have run in the last 12 years but it is a pretty high number. But none of this prepared me to be on the other side of the table, as the parent attending the IEP meeting.
My 4 year old son was recently diagnosed with autism and now the tables were turned and I was going to be the parent at the IEP meetings.
I thought my wealth of knowledge on the IEP process was going to make this so much easier; but I was wrong.
I’ve sat through many meetings about my son already and he is only 4 years old, but the other day at meeting to do a possible amendment to my son’s IEP was the first one that I cried.
We were meeting to discuss his integration into a regular education preschool program and the possibility of an aide to help with this transition.
As the meeting began, I noticed that it didn’t seem that the people sitting around the table felt this was a good transition and words like “amount of hand over hand prompting” and “his ability levels range from 3 months to 2 years old” started to hit me like a ton of bricks.
These are all things that I already know about my sweet, energetic little boy but to hear them like that in a meeting was on a whole different level.
I guess you could say this was one of those moments when autism hits you hard.
I have had many of them and I’m sure I have many more to come.
I think this one is especially hard because of my profession and the moment I realized that my knowledge of the special education world couldn’t and didn’t save me here.
This journey I have gone on with my son has made me a better special education teacher. I am so much more aware of parents and the journey they have been on with their children.
I ask myself this question with each and everyone of my students, “What if this were Franklin, what would I want for him?”
And although I tried to do this with my students before my journey with autism began, I know that I did not in the way I am doing it now.
I know it’s difficult sometimes to sympathize or empathize with something you don’t have experience with, but I ask my fellow special education teachers to please be aware of this…
Although you may think you know what it is like to have a child with special needs because you work with them everyday, ultimately unless you have a child with special needs I would argue that you do not.
I am only saying this with the greatest of love and respect for special educators because I was that person until 4 years ago when an amazing little boy with autism came into my life.
Written by, Jessica Bluhm
My name is Jessica Bluhm and I am a 6-12th grade special education teacher and mom of a 4 year old son with autism and a 2 year old typical daughter. I am married to my best friend, Tyler and we enjoy spending time with friends and family.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
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