More than the Man of My Dreams
Every year on Father’s Day I am so thankful to my father and how wonderful he has been my whole life and how lucky I am.
After I started having kids of my own I now find myself thankful for my Dad for being such a great Father and Grandfather but also I find myself so thankful for my husband and the Dad he has become.
I have always been complimented on how great Lee is as a husband.
Other men tell him to stop doing things because he is making them look bad lol. Over the last few years I have been complimented more and more on what a wonderful father Lee is to the boys.
If only those people knew the half of it.
Lee is the most wonderful father I could ever have imagined.
I find this interesting because his own Father passed away when he was two and he didn’t have any interactions with little kids or babies until we had our first son.
Right away when Aidan was born he was a hands on Dad. He changed diapers, he helped me get Aidan to nurse, he did the baths, he got up with the baby, he let me have girls nights without one complaint.
I would listen to my friends when they tried to get away and it was like their husbands had no idea what to do with the baby and I thought how lucky I was.
As Aidan grew we discovered he had ear problems and asthma. At 4 months we brought home a nebulizer and at a year he had ear tubes put in.
I am not so good with the medical stuff.
I would hold and comfort Aidan only because Lee would hold and comfort me. He would step right in and prepare the nebulizer and helped out so much during and after the tube surgery.
It wasn’t until we were pregnant with our second son Finley when I really found out what an amazing Dad he is.
At twenty weeks we were going in to find out the sex of the baby and boy did we find out a lot more. Finley was diagnosed with a million things, the doctors prepared us for the worst and through it all not once did I doubt Lee would be able to handle this baby.
I was scared and worried and he was there for me too.
Finely was born a lot healthier then the doctors prepared us for.
He was diagnosed with Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum which means he is missing the connector between his left and right brain. He also had a teathered spinal cord and a fused plate on his head.
He spent 3 nights in the NICU and who do you think slept by his side, Lee.
He was not afraid of the tubes, the monitors, the tests, the doctors he was just there for Finley.
At five months Finley endured craniosynostosis surgery to fix his fused plate.
This was an awful surgery which required a 5 day stay in the hospital. I know for a fact I would not have survived this without Lee.
He was strong for all of us. He let me leave the room when they would do blood draws, he washed Finns scalp because I couldn’t, and once we got home he administered the heavy drugs.
He did all these things so I could just love Finley and help him heal. He was so amazing and I don’t think I’ve ever even thanked him for all he did during that time.
Last year Finley endured another surgery for his teathered spinal cord. He had a really rough recovery and this time with a 10 day stay in the hospital.
Lee didn’t leave his side the whole time.
We stayed with him, we worked with him and once again Lee did all the medical stuff that I just couldn’t handle. Again he was amazing, my rock and the only way I got through it.
After all that we thought ok we have made it. We were wrong.
Around age 3 Finley was diagnosed with Autism and that began our biggest journey of them all.
Some days are amazing, Finley is amazing. He has overcome so much for such a little guy.
Some days are hard, really, really hard and Lee is right there through the sleepless nights, changing diapers, feeding Finn, holding him, changing his Mickey Mouse shows, taking him to doctor and therapy appointments, cleaning up after him and very seldom gets frustrated about any of it.
Finley has made a lot of progress but he relies on us for everything.
He is non-verbal but I know if he had a voice he would say thank you to Daddy for everything he has done and will do for him in the future.
You can see the love Aidan has for him as well, the smile he gets when Lee coaches his basketball or the glimmer in his eye when they wrestle.
He has told Lee numerous times that he loves him and its a beautiful thing to watch, the bond between a father and son.
I really can’t express how thankful I am to him for always being there and being present.
He is not only the man of my dreams, he is now the father of our boys dreams. I often wonder why God chose me to have a special needs child but then I think he must have had a plan because he gave me Lee too.
Together we can do anything.
Written by, Heather Stanek
My name is Heather Stanek and I’m a mostly stay at home mama to two amazing boys. Aidan who is 10 and Finley who is 6. Finley was diagnosed at birth with Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum and also Autism around age 3.
Photos provided by MollyV Photography.
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